Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Would you tell the truth

If your kids asked if you like so and so. My son asked if I like one of my family members. I said no I dont. However I am polite to them. My hubby was mad at me for telling the truth,

My kids are 10. They dont spread anything around to other people. I do the same with them. Whatever they say stays with me. 

Answer Question
 
BOOGIETHEBOOG

Asked by BOOGIETHEBOOG at 10:57 AM on Jan. 24, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 12 (789 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • My approach to anything with my children was this: You never have to "like" someone, but you should "respect" them. It worked. I actually had school teachers compliment me on how my kids acted. They never disrespected a teacher or another student.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:25 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • As long as you don't drag the child into the family drama, then why lie? But only if they can keep that information to themselves tho- b/c the last thing you'd want is to be at a family function & have them tell their cousin or whoever, "my mom doesn't like your mom"! Awkward! :p

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:59 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Who was the family member? Grandma? I would probably say, she and I are just different, but I do love her. Crazy Aunt Betty? I would say not so much!
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 11:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • i probably would have put the question back on him - why do u ask? - and i would have said you should always be nice to family, even if they are not your favorite family member, - my mom had to deal with several family member that treated her terrible when we were growing up and we had no idea because she kept it to herself and i thank her for that because it didnt affect our relationship with that individual as we grew up but now i respect her for that oportunity to form our own relationships without her opinion affecting it - (and one of the people was her mother, our grandma, - she is just plain mean and rotten to my mom but because my mom is awesome it didnt affect me & my grandmas relationship - and i respect that she waited till i was a senior in high school to talk to me about it when i could handle it and not let it affect my grandma & me! GL
    futurebabykar

    Answer by futurebabykar at 11:04 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • It would also depend on what kind of child you have, One that would go running to Grandma saying Mom doesn't like you? That could open up a can of worms, I think it would require an explanation, not just a yes or no, and as baconbits said being polite to a family member you don't care for is a good lesson.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 11:11 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I think it's important for kids to learn that not everybody likes each other, and that's okay. At the same time, they need to learn that just because they don't like somebody, that doesn't give them the right to be mean or talk behind that person's back. If kids are taught how to properly interact with those they don't particularly care for, they're more likely to become grown-ups who treat everyone with respect, whether they get along or not. My daughter is four, and there's a girl at school she doesn't like much. I teach her to stay away from the girl, but to be pleasant if they happen to cross paths. As for a family member, I'd keep the answer as simple as possible. Don't lie, but don't go into detail, either. "No, I don't get along with Aunt Mildred very well. But I'm polite to her, and I expect you to be polite, too. It's okay to not like everybody, and it's okay if not everybody likes you."
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I have told my kids that I don't get along with someone and why before. I've also told them that it was up to them whether or not they like someone. Everyone is different and like different people. I also try to enforce that although I may not like someone I am still polite to them and listen to them. I do not put them down or tear them apart to other people. We will never like everyone in this world and that includes some family members but they're still family so keep the peace.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 11:05 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • My son asked me if I liked his best friend's mom and I did not say yes or no I said I do not know her that well but she seems nice.
    I really do not care that much for her.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I wouldn't outright lie, but it's possible to answer a kid and be truthful without giving the whole truth. I really don't think its appropriate to lay out all the reasons why you don't like something when you're speaking to a child. They don't need all those details.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:18 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I tell my s-son the truth. He knows who I get along with, who I don't and why. He is very intelligent, and unfortunately has even tried to mend the bridges between us adults. I also let him know that our feelings as adults have nothing to do with his feelings. And that he has a right to love every family member. It is not that I don't love them, I just do not like the things that they do. He understands this, and does not take this personally nor does his father. His father respects that I do not lie to him or his son. One lie can turn into many more. I knew at a young age that my father did not get along with one of his brothers. It did not keep me from having a relationship with my cousin, or my aunt and uncle. Their adult problems were not my child problems, and as long as you keep it that way, then being honest can never be bad. They do not need to know all the whys all they time.
    Anidawehiwahya

    Answer by Anidawehiwahya at 11:02 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.