Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What do you ladies think about this?

so long story short my friend left her df because he beat her, she stayed with me for a couple weeks with her ds(he's 18 months now) and while she stayed with me she got in touch with an old friend she knew through her brothers(really long story about the brothers not going to go into it) she met up with the friend (his name is andy) and i guess made her feel comfortable so she started living with andy. now its been 6 months since her ex df beat her and everything, she posted on facebook that she was 3 months pregnant and even posted a picture of the ultrasound,im happy that she found someone that shes happy with.

but this is my issue, andy is in a band, they have been "touring" around CA and will be until long after the new baby is born.i dont think thats a healthy place to bring a baby and have a toddler running around....idk what do you ladies think?

i just wanted to add, that andy does not have a place to live they all hop from hotel to hotel

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Jan. 24, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Answers (14)
  • Just because the bf is "touring' does not mean she needs to go on the road too.
    As for giving birth without the fatehr there. women do it all the time.
    All she needs to figure out is where she will be when the baby comes and who is going to watch the toddler while she's in the hospital.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:03 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • It's her life. I'd let her figure it out unless she asks you for advice.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • i think its her life to figure out

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • @ KristiS11384: they jump from hotel to hotel, they dont have any place to go back to

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:07 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • So let me get this straight, your friend left her abusive fiancee 6 months ago, is now 3 months pregnant with another man's baby and is basically homeless, living out of hotel rooms with her toddler child while on "tour" with her new boyfriend's band. Sorry, this has train wreck written all over it. Stay out of it unless and until she asks you for help/advice.

    Answer by hootie826 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • @ KristiS11384: they jump from hotel to hotel, they dont have any place to go back to

    Andy doens't have a mother? She doesn't have parents? Frankly she's an adult she can figure it out.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:20 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • The kids are not in school so there is no issue with that. Home is where you make it and it can be as healthy or harmful as you want it to be.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:20 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • i lived in a barrack for a summer with my brother & my parents in another barrack joined together by a bathroom...home is where you make it. ppl have babies in their bedrooms, on the road, etc all the time without drs, nurses, shoot some do it completely alone.

    i get that you're worried about your friend, and with good reason. but she's an adult & she will figure it out. if you want to make sure she's okay you could always offer for her to stay with you when she gets close to delivery.

    Answer by okmanders at 2:47 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Hubby and I had a similar convo last night. We have a very good friend who is divorced, he and his ex wife have a 4 year old together. He just left for a US tour. My DH said, "How can he do that, just leave his son like that? He won't see his kid for probably a year!" Even if they were still married, his son would have to remain home when school starts. The band is not that big of a deal yet that they can afford tutors, etc. I guess that's how it goes when you're famous.

    But anyway, yes, he is technically homeless. He's not going to pay rent on a place he won't set foot in for a year. When he does come back around he crashes with his ex, friends or at his parents house (in a different state).
    If the bf's band is only doing a CA tour, they aren't millionaires either. Your friend is going to need a job to support her and her child, and that includes a residence. He can stop by for a little pokey poke when he breezes thru town.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:57 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I think you need to mind your business.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.