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My brother does not like my husband and son. How do I socialize with him and his family when I know they don't like my family?

My youngest brother told me this summer that he does not like my husband. He told me after a few beers that he thinks my husband is arrogant and he doesn't like my teen age son. His two kids love my son and their little faces light up when he is around. I am truly hurt by what my brother said. I love my husband and my son very much, I think they are wonderful. I haven't told my husband what was said, he has done nothing to warrant their disdain. We have been invited to their house for my nephew's birthday. I emailed my sister-inlaw and asked if the invitation included them and she said yes, but when I think about it it just makes me cry.


Asked by ftccoloradomom at 3:51 PM on Jan. 24, 2013 in Relationships

Level 4 (45 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • People do stupid things, say stupid things, think stupid, act in stupid ways ..... after drinking. Just ignore and move on.

    Answer by booklover545 at 10:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • Go to the party for the sake of your kids if you want to, and don't apologize. Your brother either accepts your family as a whole, or not at all. He isn't married to your husband, you are. His opinion about your husband and five bucks will get you a cup of coffee anywhere.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:54 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Wow, it's one thing to not like your husband, but to not like his own nephew is pretty odd to me.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 3:53 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I'd politely decline. And then when everyone asks why, you tell them exactly why.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • "after a few beers"

    Liquid courage will have anyone spewing out internal dislikes. I'd go and when my brother and I were out of earshot of everyone else and tell him to bust out the liquid courage and tell my husband what he really thinks about him. 50 bucks says he won't or says he was just drunk talking.

    Answer by skitNbearsmom at 4:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Have you talked to him about it after the few beers wore off?
    How has he felt about your husband and son since you both were married and had the children?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I would drop your kid off at the party since the relationship between the kids are not in question. You and the rest of your family do not have to attend. If you're asked why, then I would say the truth about what your brother's confessions and say that no one in their right mind would feel welcome after what he said. Do not let this come between the kids' friendship though. The adults need to work this out. I would also limit future communications with your brother so that he clearly knows where you stand -- right beside your family. Hopefully, he will realize that he needs to accept you all or he will lose his sister. No one has to be best buddies but there is such a thing as being cordial and polite. I used to hang out with this one family where the wife was way too bossy, moody and nosey. However, I got along great with the husband the kids. I would talk tmostly to them and would limit my time with her.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:25 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Did your brother say why he doesn't like them? I'm thinking it could be envy or jealousy. They may represent to your brother everything he isn't and that can be hard to be around. It doesn't mean that he shouldn't have to gut it up and act like a big boy. It seems to me that since you haven't told your family about that conversation, and basically you and your brother are the only ones who know about it, that this could be a very good opportunity for all of you to get together. Your brother is the one who will or should be uncomfortable, and that could be a very good thing for him to have to endure. I would take the whole family and go and be as polite and sweet as pie to him and his family. I'm very good at pretending I didn't hear what was said to me when it's less than complimentary, and it usually turns out well when I simply carry on as if it wasn't said.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I wouldn't socialize with someone who couldn't like my kid. That's bizarre to me.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 4:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I have been at odds with this for six months, but I feel so much better and stronger now. Thank you so much!

    Comment by ftccoloradomom (original poster) at 4:40 PM on Jan. 24, 2013