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How to encaurage independance / build confidence in a 4 yo boy?

my son, soon to be 4yo, is very "lazy" sort to speak. He, unlike other kids, is not interested in getting himself dressed, he likes when mommy does everything for him, from his head to toe. Lack of independance for him goes arm in arm with a lack of being adventeruous. That's how i see it. He does not try new foods, tries to be bossy rather than to listen... ; other than that he's very creative with his toys and games. Sometimes I mention "Wow, what a big boy" or "isn't it great, you did it all by yourself", but it does not repeat often. My assusmption is he's scared when put in a new situation or prefers not to bother. His comfort level is set low. I'd do everything it takes for him to be more brave when trying new stuff. Any advice would be very appreciated.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Jan. 24, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Dr. James Dobson has written several books on parenting boys & how to build a child's self esteem. Start there. GL


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I'm not really sure. But what would happen if you didn't put his clothes on for him? Jus let him sit there till he did it himself? Maybe if Mommy doesn't do everything for him, he'll figure out he has to do it for himself. As far as being bossy goes, I just ignore it when my four-year-old does it, and in short order, she wants my cooperation and rephrases her request. Good luck.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:40 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Martial Arts is a good way to boost a child confidence. It's helped my daughter be not so shy. There is another kid in her class that, when he started, was so quiet you couldn't hear ANYTHING he said, even with your ear right next to his mouth. Now, roughly six months later, he's one of the loudest, most outgoing kids in the class.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • About the dressing himself. If you know he can do it himself. Lay his cloths out on his bed. Tell him to get dressed and walk away. Food. Put new food on his plate and tell him he has to eat 1 or 2 bites from it. Sometimes you have to force things on some kids. I have a brother we always said "you have to build a fire under him to get him moving". He could sit and watch tv all day.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:08 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • You want to help him build his self confidence then allow his to do things by himself. Unless you are in a big hurry who really cares how long it takes for him to get dressed or feed himself. Ask him to do it and then let him figure it out by himself. As for the bossiness many times little kids are bossy when they feel like they don't have any control. Try to give him simple choices like what shirt to wear from a choice of two or three, what he wants to drink, ect.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 8:29 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

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