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3 Bumps

My husband told me he hasn't been happy in a long time and he is done

what do i do. we have both been unhappy but we always kept it together. i thought things were getting better. we have been together 10 yrs. he says he'll never be the man i want. i'm in shock. i will have to move back home. i have no job. he pays for everything. my entire life will be flipped. i will have to share our son - i won't even have my child all the time.

i am so lost right now. my son keeps asking why i am crying. because daddy doesn't want me anymore, that's why. my husband works late tonight so i won't even see him.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jan. 24, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • group hug


    Answer by admckenzie at 2:05 AM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Divorce and fight for Alimony as well as child support

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • I feel sorry for you, I really do and I hope things get better. But posting the same question over and over is not going to get you different answers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Just think, another 10yrs, this could all be a memory, you could be enjoying being independent and free of someone who doesn't want you. Get up, change your situation, and be happy with yourself.
    Sorry you're upset, but really, be glad its out and you are healthy, able to work, right? There are a lot of things worse than a bad marriage breaking up.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:12 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • It is AWESOME that you can live with your mom BTW. So MANY women would do anything to just have a place to go if their husband left them.

    Screw being unhappy forever- get out there and go back to school, get a job, make new friends, live a life!!!

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:23 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Why make someone a priority who only sees you as an option?
    Get up tomorrow, get a lawyer, and go job hunting.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 8:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • well I don't think you deserve alimony since you mentioned that you have no job and he pays for everything. I hope you and him could put your kid first and be as civil as possible because it's not about the adults. you need to swallow your pride and go home to your family. don't stay if you are both miserable, your family Will help you. leave asap_ preserve what little dignity you have left and get out.

    I HOPE this Will be a lesson to you that you should ALWAYS BE SELF SUFFICIENT as a woman no matter how much money your man makes. if you don't have a career go out there and get one. you'll build character, self esteem and a more secure future for you and your kid. good luck to you.

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • If he is willing I would suggest counseling.
    If not I would sugget you start thinking about what kind of job you can do. Keep your child out of it as much as you can.

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • well I don't think you deserve alimony since you mentioned that you have no job and he pays for everything.

    Uh That is what Alimony is for. At least until she is able to procure a job herself and then the amount can be renegotiated etc. But it is spousal support, particularly to help in the case that the spouse served as a "homemaker" for the duration of the marriage. As she has been married for 10 she can try for permanent alimony but it is less common and unless she can prove some extenuating circumstance or fault it is unlikely that she will get anything more than temporary Alimony.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 9:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • This happened to me 8 years ago. My ex came home exactly one week after our 10th anniversary, handed me a NOTE and watched me read it. The note basically said he felt "dead inside." I called his bluff and told him to go see if the grass was greener out there and let me know. He moved out, leaving me with two kids to raise. A year later I met the love of my life at my new job. We are now married and have a son. When my ex found out I was seeing this new guy, he filed for divorce (even though he'd cheated throughout our marriage). Best thing he ever did for me. P.S. Last Spring he told me "the grass is not greener." Tough shit. My advice is to cry and then get up and move on.


    Answer by 1smartcookie at 12:53 PM on Jan. 25, 2013