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What to do when you catch your husband masturbating

I am 26 years old and we have been married for 6 years. In the past my husband has told me that porn doesn't do anything for him and he does not masturbate. We have watched porn together while I am playing with him and that turns him on but one morning I woke up and heard something coming from the living room. I got out of bed and heard the man and woman's voice on the video it was porn. I walked into the living room and he jumped out of his skin! I walked on to the bath room and didn't say anything. when I came back he looked embarrassed but we didn't say anything to each other. I bothers me that he didn't tell me not that he is masturbating. I just need some advice on how to approach him on this subject.


Asked by confused293 at 9:09 AM on Jan. 25, 2013 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I know my husband does-and he knows I do. Do we discuss it? Not so much

    If you are happy together and having sex- then I don't think there is much to worry about. He's probably embarrassed to admit it-or thinks you would have a problem with it

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:24 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • hes embarassed why should he have to tell you he is maturbating? That is a private thing!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:14 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • All men masturbate. Some men will admit it, others wont. No man is going to tell you that he is getting up to go do it.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:15 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • All men masturbate. Every single one of them. You obviously know the porn doing nothing for him is a lie, especially if you watch it together and get him off. I have no advice because porn & masturbation doesn't bother me at all.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:15 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • I agree with luv, I don't go hey hubs btw I masturbated in the shower this morning, that's my private affairs not his.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:15 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • I would just let it go. As long as he isn't depriving you of sex to masturbate or as long as it isn't interfering with him living his life normally (e.g. he isn't staying hime from work to masturbate) I don't see why it would be a problem.

    Answer by winterglow at 9:50 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • Yes couples do at some point, but it's definitely not something that comes up weekly, daily, monthly or heck yearly. Maybe he's worried that you will be judgemental towards him.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:39 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • he does not have to tell you when he wants to do this
    no big deal

    smile, giggle if you must
    you can let him know it is fine
    it is normal

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:50 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • Gross. Porn is a deal breaker for me.

    Answer by booklover545 at 10:35 AM on Jan. 25, 2013

  • do couples not talk about if they do or do not masturbate? we have in the past and he said it didn't do anything for him. I am just wondering why he felt like he could not talk to me when things changed for him.

    Comment by confused293 (original poster) at 9:32 AM on Jan. 25, 2013