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Is there anyway to get my son back?

My son is 1 and a half, and I have deeply regretted my decision for the past year. I was coerced and pressured into placing my son up for adoption. I was young at the time and very depressed. I was thrilled to be pregnant, but so incredibly depressed because it seemed like the whole world didn't want my son, or me to have him.

I need him, and my son needs me. Is there any way about going about this?

Please just be honest with me, and PLEASE don't be rude to me. I'm having a difficult time being w/o my little boy.

My parents were the ones who adopted my son. I get to see him on a regular basis. I was told by my lawyer that I couldn't get him back, and I have already asked my parents and they said no.

Please, help me. I have money, I can afford a lawyer...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Feb. 13, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (17)
  • if your lawyer already said that you cant get him back then i dont know if there is anything else you can do. try going through the yellow pages and calling every lawyer that deals with adoption and see if you get a different answer.
    in the mean time-try to look at the positives. at least you get to see him often and watch him grow up. good luck

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • If your parents adopted him, maybe you can talk to them about it. Maybe there are certain things you must achieve so they let you parent him. You don't give much back ground, so I can't suggest much, but maybe if your parents see you are trying to better your life they will be more willing to come to an agreement.

    Answer by my4lads at 7:43 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I think you should start by being active in his life, if you aren't already, like a big sister would. You are fortunate that your parents adopted him, and you still have contact with him regularly. ~~ Try to focus on being a part of his life, without feeling the need to "mother" him.
    Things like taking him to the park, hanging out with him, reading, even being there to tuck him in at night. I imagine your parnets would be willing to let you be as involved as you want to without giving up their rights. They must feel like they are doing what they need to for him right now.
    Give them some time, and prove yourself first. Do you live with them? Could it be a possibility??

    Answer by christyg at 7:54 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • No, I live a ways away. I'm going to college. It's hard being active in his life because he's not next door. I don't think you quite understand how HARD it is to even be around him. I do enjoy playing with him, but trying to not to mother? Act like a big sister? Could you do that with your children?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • What is the reasoning your parents are giving you to not get him back? It sounds to me like you guys need to have a long talk about this and there may be certain things that they want to see from you or for you to accompolish before they consider it. I think a lawyer would just make them mad and rebel against this idea. I think its better if it is something you work out as a family if they will allow

    Answer by Scoobersmom at 8:40 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • i like the idea of calling a bunch of different lawyers about it. I don't know much about your situation... are you independent.. able to care for you and possibly him if it were ever to happen? I of course don't know the details of what went down when he was adopted.... do research on the state adoption laws.... If nothing give it time and try to be in his life as much as you can mama. Hugs.

    Answer by mikeyjavimami21 at 8:41 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • If the adoption has been legally finalized, I don't think you will be able to get him back unless your parents willingly give him back. Talk to your parents, and ask him if there is anything you can do that will show them you are ready to parent again. Maybe if you can show them you will be able to parent him, they would be willing to give him back. Without knowing the circumstances of why they have him instead of you, it's hard to give more specific advice.

    Answer by romeece at 9:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Would your parents let him come "visit" you at college for a week at a time, or so? Maybe if you start small, and do your best to prove that you can be responsible, they will be more open to conversations.
    Can you get a place that provides a place for him to stay? Do you have things like car seats and strollers, that you need? A steady job, or other source of income to provide the things that you both need? Groceries, medical insurance, diapers, etc???

    Answer by christyg at 10:55 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I am so sorry, I can't even begin to imagine what this must feel like. The entire point of adoption is to establish a permanent family, so the answer is no there really is nothing you can do to reverse the situation. The only chance you stand would be if your parents allowed you to parent him.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 3:29 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • If your lawyer said no more then likely the answer is no. You can always go to another lawyer and get a second opinion and see if there are any loop holes. If anyone else had adopted your baby I would say it would be cruel to try to take him back now. Since it was your parents though if you have kept in constant contact with him I think that is a different situation. Have you told your parents how much this is tearing you apart? How old are you are you old enough to provide for him? Anyway I know this is tough and I know that you are hurting. I am so sorry. If you can't get him back just still go and see him as much as you want and love and snuggle with him as much as you want no matter what the circumstances are. I think that will do you good it will do him good too. Even if you can't get him back. So many parents pop in and out of kids lives and that is not fair be consistent. Good luck.


    Answer by hopingforanange at 5:18 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

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