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I just don't know (very sad matter)

found out today that our neighbor's 4mo died sunday morning. we knew something was going on but wasn't sure what. came home from church and there were cop cars all over the parking lot. even in our spot. hubby saw the ambulance but he didn't go out to find out what was going on. this morning the mom came over to use our phone(her's broke the other day), and we started talking after she hung up. she said the funeral was yesterday and she was trying to get life back to normal for her other two children. one is in kindergarten and the other is just 2. she has family that she's been with all week long, and her son is going back to school on monday.
she was over here for about an hour, she spoke about the funeral and what happened for about 30 min and then she changed the subject to our truck. we just let the subject change. and she was laughing by the time she left to go back home. i told her if she needed anything else then just let us know.

did i do the right thing by saying that?


Asked by noel1978 at 3:16 PM on Jan. 26, 2013 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 24 (20,417 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think you did just fine. She knows she can talk to you about the tragedy if she feels like it, but it's also good to laugh with someone when you can. I truly believe that laughter is healing.

    My God, what a tragedy! She's a strong mom to be putting her life back together so soon. I don't know if I'd ever get out of bed again, but I guess she has to since she has other kids.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:35 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • you did the right thing. If she is wanting to talk she will.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I think what you did was perfect. You gave her a shoulder if she needs it, without pressuring her, and you didn't make her feel like she couldn't laugh. You let her grieve and still try to get her mind off it, something that I think most of us would want.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:46 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I think you did the right thing. Right now she might still be in shock and trying to hold it together for her children. Who knows how she'll feel in a couple of weeks when things start settling in. I'm sure for many grief like this comes in waves.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 4:25 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I would be hysterical for weeks. What a tragedy...

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:20 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Sometimes, when there is a tragedy, people need to know they can go somewhere and have a sense of normal, if only for a few minutes. All you can do is offer your condolences and support.

    Answer by Oleary1024 at 10:42 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Sometimes people greive in different ways and the best thing youcan do is just be there to listen to them, this is a very heart breaking story. I give my regards to your neighbor and their family.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:47 AM on Feb. 1, 2013

  • she said it was her other kids that was keeping her going. if it wasn't for them, she just didn't know what she would do. the baby's daddy hasn't been able to walk into the apartment all week. he was staying with his sister all week. she and her mother boxed all the baby stuff up and put it in their closet. daddy wants to go through and put most of her outfits in picture frames so he can remember her.

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 3:40 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • how did she die?

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 6:31 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • How sad. You did the right thing, you did what most would do in the same situation. She is probably a little bit in denial, it may hit her a'll at once in a few weeks, she will definitely feel ups and downs for a long time coming.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:23 PM on Jan. 26, 2013