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My 15 year old acting out because he wants to live with his dad.

My son has began his freshman year in high acting unruly. He has told me that he wants to go live with his dad and because his dad isn't financially prepared for him he can't, and now he is acting out. He has been suspended from school for drinking on campus. He has been readmitted pending he doesn't get into anymore trouble for the rest of the school year. This past Friday he was written up for being disrespectful to his teacher. He told her to leave him alone when she asked him to participate in class. I tried talking to him calmly to get a understanding of what's going on with him to only hear that he wants to live with his dad and he is doing everything wrong because he can't go. I am reaching out to other moms for advice before I or my husband hurt this little boy. We are truly trying to be understanding but I WILL NOT deal with a disrespectful child. My husband has offered him all the help possible and nothing.

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HurtingMom182

Asked by HurtingMom182 at 6:50 PM on Jan. 26, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • something may have happened that caused him to act out, maybe take him to a counselor. If he is actin g act you need to set rules, take away his favorite things, dont let him go out with friends, school and straight home. Have him do extra chores around the house
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 6:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Has his Dad told him "No." ? He might need to hear it from him if he hasn't already.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Has he spoken to his father about this? I think that's what needs to happen. He needs to discuss it with his father, so he understands that you're not just telling him no. Hopefully that will make life easier for you.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:00 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Yea, did Dad tell him he can't come. Or is you who is telling him? Make his Dad do it. His dad is not financially prepared? Lame excuse for him to say.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Have you informed your son he is messing up his own future doing these things not yours. He will be the one who can't get a good job because he messed up in highschool.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • are you getting child support?

    what makes dad NOT finacially able? He NEEDS his dad, why not help dad out to help your son out?
    Your HUSBAND is not dad and if your son says he wants dad then your husband butting in is going to make it worse.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:05 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • This is a tough one because it could clear up if he can go to his Dad. I have to ask the same questions as luv^^. Can you help it be financially viable for his Dad to have him? If his Dad is a responsible parent then it could be just the ticket to straighten this kid out. By sending him there you remove his main excuse for bad behavior and possibly give him what he needs to start fresh and move onward and upward.

    I only say this because acting out is what finally precipitated my SD's move to our house permanently and she has been on an upward track ever since. I only advise this if the Dad is willing and capable of doing the work to put this boy on the right path and keep him on it, however.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 7:14 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • where are you?
    you asked a question an hour ago and havent responded
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 8:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • Sorry. I am trying to figure this website out. But to answers some questions, the father and I have had problems in the past with custody issues when my son was 2. We have shared custody and have been working what I thought to be a awesome system when it comes to sharing the time spent. The child support is a major joke. He doesn't pay as he should show I foot the bills fornEVERYTHING he needs includeing medical and all Cross Country expenses. My husband and I have found that asking him for financial help is a waste of out time and we just don't ask. The last conversation I have had with his father about him coming to live with him was the first and the last, so I don't know if that is something he is telling our son, but I have planned a call for tomorrow to see where he is at with the whole living with him thing because like I said when he told me about it bringing him home and never mentioned it to be again.
    HurtingMom182

    Comment by HurtingMom182 (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • To the point of my husband not having a comment. I am not so sure about that because he has been in his life as a father figure since was 2. He has been making parental decision for awhile so to tell him now he shouldn't I think is wrong. My/our son also has his days when he wants to be nice. We have notice that when he wants something his attitude changes from hating us to he so needs us (typical teenager?) he mood swings are so strange they are all over the place and for the life of me I don't know what. I have talked to him asked questions of concern after the whole alcohol in school thing. Only thing I can get out of the conversation is that he is selfish. He wants everything to go his way and be the way he likes it or he understands. So lost!!
    HurtingMom182

    Comment by HurtingMom182 (original poster) at 10:25 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

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