Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Friend still being unreasonable Slight Edit I did have two questions on here

I've posted before about this but she's gotten worse. My friend is 5"1' over 300lbs with high blood pressure and insulin resistance all from before she was pregnant. She is a smoker,only one or two a day but enough to raise the risk of placental abruption(what her blood pressure didn't).
Her family are very "natural" and she's scared to death of surgery so she is just set on having a home birth and she found an insane midwife who'll do it for her.

I know she's an adult but we're talking about something that could kill two people. Asking me to step back on this midwide ILLEGALLY attending this is akin to asking me to step back and watch a family member commit suicide.

>>>>>>>I know that a lot of this is because she's scared of surgery and that it would disappoint her family, are there any natural type blogs or websites aimed toward women who do a more natural parenting but have c-sections and don't berate them as second rate?<<<<<<

It might help her to feel better about them IDK.


I care deeply for my friend but with human life I just can't compromise. If it comes down to it can you call the CPS about something like this?       In the long run even if she hates me her and her baby would be alive which would make her a whole lot happier in the long run.

 EDIT: THE DAMN MIDWIFE TOLD HER THAT IF SHE GOES TO A DOCTOR SHE WILL HAVE A C-SECTION AUTOMATICALLY. This whole damn deciscion is based on fear and intimidation to make dangerous choices be it the midwife or her family. THIS IS NOT AN AUTONOMY ISSUE THIS IS AN INTIMIDATION AND SAFETY ISSUE. 

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Jan. 26, 2013 in Pregnancy

Answers (23)
  • Nope,no CPS for the unborn
    I hope she has all her final wishes in order.
    I hope if the birth goes South,they get her to the hospital in time
    Keep at her. Maybe you can change her mind
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:09 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • She's an adult and can make decisions for herself.

    Why on earth would you report "your" friend to CPS? Support her choices, that's what a "friend" does!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 11:10 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I wouldn't think you could do anything. She's an adult, she's made her choice and it is between her and her midwife as to what is safe for her and what isn't.

    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:10 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • So.......just because she's not doing what YOU would do in HER situation, she's being unreasonable?

    I think you need to just butt the hell out of her life and let her do this the way SHE wants to do it. Possibility for complications and her, in your eyes, poor health choices are none of your concern.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:12 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I understand that you are afraid for her friend and her unborn baby. It surprises me that a midwife would be willing to do a home birth for a patient who has a high risk of problems. But they're both dults, they're the ones involved. Arguing with your friend probably won't change her mind. Just be there to help her in whatever way you can.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:16 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • If you are serious, WOW ! I had to read it a couple of times just to make sure of what I read.

    Stay in front of your own mirror woman. You might want to get busy living your own life so you don't feel such a need to place your nose and judgement where it doesn't belong....
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 11:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I care deeply for my friend but with human life I just can't compromise.

    What are you compromising?
    What are you willing to give up while asking her to give up her ideal of a homebirth?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:39 PM on Jan. 26, 2013

  • I understand that she's your friend and you're concerned, but really, she's an adult and there's not much you can do.
    alf2651

    Answer by alf2651 at 12:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I'm standing here as a medical professional who swore to do no harm ,watching someone risk their and their child's lives. That's the compromise. I will not stand back and watch people die while I do nothing. If I was present as a first responder I would be required to provide care and most likely call an 911 based on her blood pressure. She's stage 1 hypertension for goodness sake.

    It isn't even legal for this midwife to take her on as a patient because of her blood pressure but since lay midwives are legal in this state it almost impossible to turn these ladies in for the crap they're pulling.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I've been trying to turn in the practitioner before doing anything else because she's outside of the law. My first instinct was not CPS but to turn in a dangerous practitioner.

    I've been talking to my friend it doesn't even seem like the homebirth that matters to her but not disappointing her family by having a c-section.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Jan. 27, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN