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2 Bumps

Do I have a right to be angry? (Sorry if it's long, some venting too and the TMI flag is more for my language). adult content

Ok, I will apologize in advance if this gets a little rambly, but I am still a bit emotional about the whole thing. So, on the 7th of January (which was a Monday), my father had a major heart attack. We (my husband and me) where here, so we got paramedics and everything here as quickly as you can when you live in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, he ended up in a hospital that is 39 miles from where we live. At the time, we had a big, full size conversion van. As such, it was a bit of a gas guzzler, but it did run well. Being emotional, not thinking and a bit numb at the time, when my husband suggested that we get rid of the van and get a small car, I agreed. I was thinking he would use his damn head and realize we have three children and need at least three seat belts across the back seat. Well, he found one that didnt have a battery in it, but the price was decent and we knew we would get a bit extra out of our van. So, he sells our van, gives the guy the cash, then checks to see if the car will run. Can you guess what happened? The damn piece of flaming dog shit wouldn't run, so that left us stuck with NO transportation.
Well, by this point, we know that my dad suffered severe brain damage with his heart attack and only his brain stem is functioning. So, my mother, his brothers and me decided to take him off the ventilator on the 16th (the following Wednesday). We had to get a ride up there so I could at least be there when they took him off. I wanted to stay there with him so at least SOMEONE would be with him, but my husband threw a fit, asking how was he supposed to take care of our three kids. I came home and we get a call the next night at five minutes till nine telling us that my father had passed. The next day, a friend of ours pulls the flaming piece of shit to his house and they get it fixed within an hour! Well, the thought of havin a working car made me feel a little better, until we went to get in and we noticed there are only two seat belts in the back and we have three kids. In our state, children can not sit in front until they are twelve and my oldest is only ten. So now, we are stuck with this piece of flaming dog shit that just keeps throwing more problems at us.
I guess my whole thing is, he keeps asking me why I am angry and why it seems like I don't want to be around him very much right now. I mean, really? After all the shit he has pulled in the last month, what the hell does he expect? I guess I am asking, do I have a right to be angry, or am I just overly sensitive because of losing my father? Oh, and I forgot to mention, my husband had promised my father that he wouldn't get rid of the van until he had another working vehicle (preferably a minivan), so I sorta feel like he broke his last promise to my dad.
-Ashley

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would be mad.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I would be mad too. I think you have to tell him how you feel or you will never get over it. Big hugs to you. I lost my dad last year and it was so hard. I don't know how I would have got through it if my husband acted like yours. Kick him in the balls and maybe you will feel better. (dont really kick him in the balls...it is just a joke!) Anyway... big hugs momma!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • you shoudl be mad, he did not use common sense when buying the car.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:44 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I would be pissed too. And hurt that he didn't care enough about my feelings concerning my dad's poor health that he couldn't pull his head out of his ass and watch his own children while you went to be with your dad. So sorry to hear of the loss of your father.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:58 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I'd be absolutely livid if I were you! My mom is currently in the hospital awaiting news on how widespread her cancer is. It doesn't look good though because there are several tumors besides the ones they've already taken out. If my husband acted right now the way yours has, well let's just say I don't think I should be held responsible for what I would do to him.

    I understand the need to get rid of a gas guzzling van, but I think the timing was really bad. He should have waited until things with your dad were settled down and given you time to grieve properly and work through all the emotions that you had going on. Also, if I have to go be with my mom, dh had better not make me come back to take care of the kids. We're already making arrangements for dh to take care of the kids if/when I have to go back home. Your dh should have been more understanding about that.

    You need to tell you dh exactly how you feel and why.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • I would be angry. You have so much going on right now with grieving and heartache. Not only was your hubs a flaming dipshit, but his choices are like adding insult to injury. You need sensitivity and compassion right now. Not idiocy.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 1:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • How is he supposed to take care of three kids?! If you can father them you'd damn well better be able to take care of them! If he can't care for three kids better sterilize him RIGHT NOW. With a rusty knife.

    **huff huff huff**

    You have EVERY RIGHT to be angry. Your husband is an IDIOT.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:00 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • YESSS! you have a big right.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 2:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • Damn right you have a right to be mad! The car! Him not being supportive while your dad is DYING! WFT! Yeah I would be furious.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 4:23 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

  • You have a right to be angry, definitely. But I'm not sure it will serve you well. Your husband might be a source of comfort for you if you can get past his mistakes and let him. I'm sorry for what you're going through. *Hugs.*
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2013

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