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Am I to rough on my kids?

My surrounding people say I am. My kids have no down time. During the week they are not allowed any games or tv. They don't get to play outside during the week because I make school work for them even if they finish their homework in a timely fashion. There is tv time once things are done and if it is to late then no tv time at all. They are not bad kids nor do they get bad grades in school. My daughter in the 1st grade straight A's. My son is in the 5th grade and brings home normally all B's and maybe one or two C's. He plays basketball she plays soccer. When we are out there is no whining or throwing fits. If I have enough money they are told in the car they can get something. If I don't they are told not to ask for anything. They go shopping twice a week and get what they ask for (clothes shoes games whatever) after that it is up to Daddy and I pockets. The teachers praise me for their behavior. Am I that hard on my kids?

 
mommatime78

Asked by mommatime78 at 9:20 PM on Feb. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (17)
  • you are doing excellent in their academics, in their intellectual health. They are respectful, intelligent, and appreciative. But are they children..... Every person has several different facets to themselves and to be healthy is to develop all of them.
    I have to agree with the other posters, they also need time to be children. To be creative, free, and very important OUTSIDE (there are proven studies b/w outside time and psychological health). I'd schedule in some outside time, and plain fun time.
    And and don't totally discount video games, they also have a purpose. 1. great hand/eye coordination skills 2) teach the technological skills that our children will need in the world to come. I'd schedule in some computer play time too, where they can't just explore under your supervision.
    That way they will have something to talk yo their friends about. Happiness later in life is measured in FRIENDSHIP not grades.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:43 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I dont think in gereral you are too hard on them but I do think they need more down time after school work is done, remember they still are kids and they need to play, and relax after school but the behavior part NO, I think you are right on that one.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:24 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • The only thing that may possibly be harsh is to make more school work for them after they've finished their homework. Unless you think they need more practice on something specific, in which case you're doing them a favor. Everything else sounds like you're just trying to raise kids that understand limits and are a pleasure to be around! Of course, my family thinks I'm too harsh on my kids, so take that for what it's worth! ;)
    flmom321

    Answer by flmom321 at 9:25 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • For the most part I don't think that is bad considering how some parents just let their children run crazy.. Kids who have a routine and some discipline are usually better off and are more responsible and respectful as they grow up. I just think that kids do need some down time during the week to play and relax. My son gets an hour or so on school nights to do as he pleases (playing video games, watching cartoons, playing outside with friends) and then it is time for family, dinner, homework, shower, etc.. The school week is hard and so much stress that I think kids deserve some time to unwind when they get home from school. As far as not spoiling them or allowing fits or whining, I am the same way... nothing wrong with that...
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Okay thanks
    I was just wondering because my family and friends say I am way to hard on them. I don't allow them to be kids.
    I say because they aren't like most of my friends kids running through people houses jumping on beds and everything else I refuse to allow. I was just wondering.
    I can't even choose a best answer this time because you all were on point.

    Thanks again. I'll try with the down time a little though.
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 9:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • It sounds like you have a great handle on things, however, kids need plenty of fresh air. Even if they play a sport I think that after school getting to go outside and run and jump really helps let loose that built up energy from sitting for a teacher all day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I think from your post it comes across as they don't have enough time to play. If you were to discuss with an occupational therapist they would say play time is important for brain development. I refuse to judge whether or not you are too hard on them. There may be issues I don't know about. I am hard on my kids when neccesary, but relaxed in areas other people don't agree with. It is my parenting style and my kids are thriving. You know your kids best. Do listen to those people and take what they say and think about it. But ultimately it is going to be you and your husband's call.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 9:36 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • It sounds like you are structured...not rough!
    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 9:41 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • The only issue I have a question about is the extra school work. Do you mean you have them read a book of their chosing instead of TV? or Are you making up worksheets and driliing them? Everyone needs personal time. Maybe carve in some personal time in their schedules. Back when my daughter was your kids ages, we had a full schedule too. Some days I would come home from work, and just send her off to her room to do whatever it is little girls do. It gave me a few minutes of peace and her some time to unwind.
    patipwa6

    Answer by patipwa6 at 9:42 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • You need to let those kids outside after school, the fresh air and socialization is very important for them. They also do not need extra school work. They are in school all day and also have homework. Don't be such a power freak, let them enjoy their childhood. Most first graders are straight a students anyways, so it's nothing your doing.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 9:42 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

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