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Just want some thoughts on this..... (not sure where to put this)

I adopted a family members child. I have had custody of this child since the middle of April. She has been hounding me since October to let me let her claim the child b/c she needs money. I have been saying NO b/c it is illegal and I have had custody for more than 6 mos. She had the nerve to call me today and ask me if I had filed yet. I led her to believe something other than what I had done already. She tells me that she needs a few hundred dollars to get a car. I know this person and this is not what she will use this money for. She then informs me that she "deserves" part of my return for "raising" her child last year. She told me that she is "entitled" to MY money.

How would you feel if someone told you that they were entitled to your money? Personally this just pissed me off to no end.

BTW just giving her some money will ONLY make her come back for more. We did that in the Spring and Summer and she treated us as frickin' ATM's.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2013 in Money & Work

Answers (16)
  • I would stop taking her calles. The child is legally your's right? Just stand up to her and say NO never ever. Stop asking me for money.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:24 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • First, I would not give her a dime.
    Second, are you sure you should be maintaining contact with this woman?
    Third, is this adoption finalized in the public records? Have you been before a judge?
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 8:26 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Yes, finalized in September. I haven't wanted to cut out contact, but I think it is heading in that direction.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:27 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • If the child is yours and their is nothing in the adoption papers saying you have to stay in contact with her? Then drop her.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:29 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • It's a shame she's acting that way, but for your sanity and the child's well being it sounds like you need to continue in the no contact path.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 8:29 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Okay, good. So she has no legal recourse to come back for the LO. That being said, I would say it is really important that you sit with her and have a serious boundaries/expectations talk. Lay out exactly what you expect of her in your relationship and in her relationship with her LO. Tell her where the line is that will not be crossed. Let her know that your job is first and foremost to do what is best for that little child and should she continue to cross the lines, you will be forced to cut contact. You don't want to, but you will if she chooses not to respect your boundaries.

    Then, once that is all said and done, let her choose what level of relationship she wants. She will either respect the boundaries and continue contact with you and her LO or she will choose to loose contact with her LO by disrespecting the boundaries.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 8:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • This does not seem like a person you want your adopted child in contact with. I think for her sake if not for your own and you \r husband's I would stop taking her calls or texts. I would not see her and if necessary I would get a restraining order.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:41 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Eek why did she let you adopt her child?
    Drugs, couldn't afford it, both??

    I don't know if IGNORING her is the best answer because it could come back to haunt you. especially if shes on drugs.
    so talk to her, tell her you are never going to give her money (and for what?)
    tell her its going towards the child

    and tell her you are starting to feel distanced from her and if things do not change you may feel the need to get authorities involved. and be careful how you say that, no threats

    be wise and think ahead. dont let this woman win
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • so yea why is it illegal for her to claim her daughter back?
    did i read that right?
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 10:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Entitled to your money? She should be paying you child support.
    If it keeps up I'd file harassment charges.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:31 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

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