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2 Bumps

Sex as a part of the marriage "contract" adult content

1st off,did you sit down with your fiance after the proposal to discuss how much sex was expected from each other in the marriage?

Ok,do you see sex as something that is required of you because you are married? Do you see it as something you have to do if your husband wants it? What if you're tired,sick,recovering from childbirth?

Does he yell at you,make you feel guilty,give you the cold shoulder/sulk,say you must be cheating if you turn him down?

I'm curious how prevalent this is amongst the Cafemoms


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 7:47 PM on Jan. 29, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I think relationships like that are sad. My husband and I have sex when we feel like it, because we want to. Not because one of us feels it's a requirement.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 7:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • I don't understand why a husband would even be into sex if he knew his wife wasn't into it and didn't want him. I mean, I get it if you're an asshole pig, but in any normal marriage, you would want your spouse to want you and be into it.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • Sex is an act of love, not a duty of any kind, and as humans we sometimes lack the desire for whatever reason, living hectic lives...taking care of our children, etc I have been married for 40 years, and not once has there been any issue of one of us were not up to having has never been a duty but a fun pleasure and bonding time, connecting in the most intimate level in unison!

    Answer by older at 8:06 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • Sex is part of the contract. No we did not discuss a schedule however we were very clear with each other that sex was not to be used as a weapon and that either of us could ask and either of us could beg off.
    I will explain using as a weapon since some may feel I am talking violence, but our meaning was withholding for no other reason than the power of saying no.

    I have been too tired but at other times so has he, sick, the same, just not in the mood, well there you go.
    We love each other and to us it is important to put the others feelings before out own, at least most of the time.

    BTW sex is the best cure for a headache (not a migraine)

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:10 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • curiously, we didn't chat about it because it was never an issue. it is not expected that I rise to the occasion just because his penis says so. If I'm not in the mood or sick, I avoid that sucker like the plague. If he yelled at me, I'd knock him out cold so that's no issue either. But we have good sex a few times a week so I'll leave it at that and go anon for a few personal reasons.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • I beat my dh when he denies my sexual advances lmao... Okay that just sounds funny. No and if he started acting like a jack butt because I didn't feel like it I'm not sure how long our relationship would last. I could tell you not that long.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 8:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • Oh I agree. It's sad and awful.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • That's so awful. I never had that particular issue with my ex.... Of course, that was one of the best & healthiest aspects of the relationship.

    Answer by KA91 at 8:16 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • no no and no

    we have it plenty...and I have pretty much never turned him down (but he usually doesn't ask if I'm sick or dealing with girl time either)

    not sure how we fix this issue the CM moms seem to have!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • And yes, sex is a good cure for a headache because it carries blood away from the constricted muscles in the head and takes it to better places.

    Answer by Ballad at 9:47 PM on Jan. 29, 2013