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What would you do? ::Autism/Asperger's School Question:: (long)

DS8 has Asperger's. He has had a lot of angry out burst that lead to melt downs this year. In these episodes he screams, cries, tries to run from the room and in extreme cases lashes out physically and has to be restrained by the teachers. ( happened about 3-4 times this year) He is a special program for kids with Asperger's. He spends a little over 1/2 his day in Reg. classes and the rest in special classes for other kids like him. He receives social skills classes 2 times a week plus he is part of several school 'social clubs' Anyway- the school is 100% set up for kids like him.

At the beginning of the year the autism teacher goes into the regular ed classes ( with out my DS or the other Autist child in his class) and talks about Autism/aspergers and how to be a good friend to a child who is different. No names are mentioned, nothing specific is mentioned... just a general talk.

Well, my DS special and reg. teacher feel the kids are starting to be afraid of my son to an extent. so his Spec. teacher has asked to speak to the class again but this time specifically about Carl. she needs my expressed permission to do this and says this is not 'normal' procedure but in a few cases she likes to suggest it.

I am torn. I don't want the other kids to be afraid of him and they have called him 'crazy' some this year but at the same time I don't want this to fuel the fire- so to speak... KWIM? I am leaning towards letting and her hoping for the best... but I am curious on others thoughts. As the parent of a child like mine- would you allow it? As the parent of a Nero typical child- Would a talk like this help create more understanding or cause more problems?

Any thoughts that pop into your head that you think I should consider would be GREAT.

Thanks for reading this!! lol. :0)

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But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 5:27 PM on Jan. 30, 2013 in

Level 44 (181,635 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Well, what exactly does she want to say to the other kids? That would be one of my first questions, and would be a huge deciding factor on whether or not I would want to let her do it.

    My kids have ADHD, so they understand *a bit* about being different - in that they can't sit still as easily or focus as easily as others. So I try to teach them that other kids, with autism and things like that, are also different, but that just like they wouldn't want to be treated differently, neither does a child with autism or something else. I try to help them understand what makes someone with autism, or CP, or any other "difference", different and - and why they shouldn't be afraid of that person and how they could be helpful to that person. If that's the kind of stuff she wants to talk about, that would probably be okay.

    As for whether it would create understanding or cause problems (con't)
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:32 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • Child specific may help them understand him as an individual
    But, I am not you and its not a situation I am fully knoledgeable about
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 5:32 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • Ugh.....I am not sure I would be comfortable with her speaking to the class about a specific child, when done by name. It just singles him out again, put the focus on him and I think I'd be concerned about the exact things you're concerned about.

    It depends on the age of the kids involved but I have found that kids are only really receptive to this at a very young age. They start building cliques earlier and earlier it seems.

    I don't know.....truly. I've never been in your shoes and I'm speaking outside my realm of expertise and only you know how that might make your son feel but those are my thoughts on the matter
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 5:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • Gosh Doc... that's a tough one. I hate for him to be singled out, but I also hate that they are starting to be afraid of him. I think I'm leaning on the teacher talking to the class....
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 5:34 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • I think that's going to depend on each individual child in that class, and their families. If they come from families who embrace difference, and don't shun those who are different, it'll probably help them understand. But if they come from a family that either fears those who are different or makes fun of them or what have you, then it's probably not going to do much to help them understand - unless they are more open-minded than their parents, which is kind of doubtful at age 8 - heck, I can't even get my 11 year old to share a thought that's differing from mine sometimes (which drives me nuts, btw!).

    I think you just have to really go with your gut. If you feel this will do good, then go for it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:34 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • No,I would not be comfortable with the teacher singling my son out
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:35 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • See the thing is he has already kind of singled himself out with his behavior. The kids already talk about him and call him names... The idea is for her to talk to them again about Autism/ Asperger's but more specifically how it affects Carls' ability to control his emotions for know how to verbally communicate when he is upset. So they understand he is not trying to scare or hurt anyone he is just confused or mad or sad and doesn't know how to say it so he does what he knows how to do. Escape, cry, lash out, scream... He just can't turn it all off and say ' 'I am upset and I need a minute to calm down.' or just keep his emotions to himself. He just can't.
    But_Mommie

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • I guess I just wonder if talking to the class could really make ti any worse...
    But_Mommie

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • Have you heard her speak about autism? Does she actually connect with the kids and help them understand or is it just a rehearsed speech? Do you know what she is going to say and how she will present it? My answer would depend on those answers. If she can present him in a light that the other kids can begin to understand then I think it might be a good thing. Like you said, your DS is already singled out, I doubt this could make it worse. Good luck Doc.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 5:56 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

  • I don't think talking to the class could make things much worse at this point if the kids are already getting nervous and calling him names. The talk may inspire compassion in some of the kids, even if others ignore it and keep on pulling their crap. What I would do is ask to see the written copy of the talk, or at least get the teacher to rattle offa summary of it to you out loud, so you can hear the specific details and make a more informed decision.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:01 PM on Jan. 30, 2013

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