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Aunt, Grandma, and Cousin want to take our son?

I got a call from my fiance's aunt saying her daughter whose name is also Whitney (my name), my fiance's mom, and herself want to take our son for a couple hours today. Our son his 14 months and he only ever sees these people on holidays or his birthday. My fiance wants me to just let him go and thinks it's no big deal, when I think our son is going to be scared to death going with people he doesn't know and not having one of us with him. He already told them they could take him too. They're wanting to take him for a couple hours take him to Mcdonalds and then they said get him some clothes. The closest mall is atleast 30 minutes away and I want him to stay in the town we live in. I'm just afraid they're not going to watch him like I do. My fiance's moms youngest kid is 23 and his aunts youngest is 22. His cousin is a snobby B!tch that never talks to our son and never holds him. Would anyone else be nervous about this?

 
bassyentihw

Asked by bassyentihw at 8:32 AM on Feb. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (68)
  • I cannot understand why some of you posters are being so rude. Every mother is different and feels differently about different circumstances. A mother usually knows her child best, even better than daddy does since most mothers are the primary care givers. Having a very young child think the world revolves around his mother is not only normal, it's healthy. A young child needs to have that strong bond with his mommy. Kids can still be around their extended family without going places alone with them. I have always been pretty protective of my kids, and they have all turned out to be very sociable, and my oldest ds is NOT a mama's boy at all! I think those of you who are offended that some moms have different feelings than YOU need to relax. Everyone is different, and just because some moms don't feel the way you do, it doesn't make them wrong!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • If you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't let them! Maybe they can visit with your son at your place, or you can all go to McDonalds or the mall together.
    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 8:35 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • If you feel this uncomfortable then don't let them take him. Or better yet, go with them. Then you'll know he's OK and they'll get to spend time with him.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 8:41 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I made the suggestion of my fiance and I go with them or even meet them at Mcdonalds since it is his family and they might want to see him too but he said that would be rude. He's already told them yes even though he didn't ask me about it. I don't really want to go if his mom is going because I can't stand her and she acts like she likes me even though I know she doesn't but I don't want him to go either lol. I told him they could come over and see him as much as they want but I just don't want them to take him. And it's Valentine's Day, shouldn't our son spend that with his immediate family like his parents and my mom since we live with her and he sees her everyday all day? It just seems kind of weird to me that they would want to take him on a holiday for a couple hours out of nowhere.
    bassyentihw

    Answer by bassyentihw at 8:46 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Maybe your fiance wanted some time with you since, like you said, it's valentines day!!!
    jreneei

    Answer by jreneei at 8:51 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • go with them the first time. That may help. Also... I can understand about the cousin.... but his grandma deserves some time. You have to realize that she loves him and he will probably be just fine! My SIL almost never lets my mom see our nephew (It's a similar situation to yours) and it kills her because he never has the chance to bond with her! And my mom's youngest kids is 23! But she watches the babies like a hawk! Most grandmothers don't have a lot of very young kids.... BUT they have a lot more experience than we do! I felt nervous leaving my son overnight with my MIL (I think it's normal!), but I knew I had to just let go of the paranoia and do it.... because I KNOW she loves him and would do everything she could to keep him safe! If you really can't then don't. But for the grandma's sake, you really might want to at least try it.

    Good luck
    thesublimelife

    Answer by thesublimelife at 8:54 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • It seems to me like they are trying to give you and your fiance some alone time for Valentine's Day. I would take it I it were me! I understand not being used to letting your child go with other people, but its actually good for him. And a couple things to think about: If his mom was so horrible with children and did a bad job taking care of them, your fiance wouldn't have turned into the wonderful man you want to marry and Even though the two of you may not be best friends, it seems like she is making an effort to get along with you. It may seem fake, but something in her must be telling her that her son is happy and she should try to be nice. I mean, fake nice for the family's sake is better than her being a B**** to you, right? So, I would say try to let go, let your son go have fun with his cousin, great aunt and grandma and try to enjoy some alone time with your fiance! Happy Valentine's Day!
    chillemi78

    Answer by chillemi78 at 8:56 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Also- don't be so sure that you soon to be MIL doesn't like you. She may just not like certain things.... like you not letting her see her grandson. Again, this is the same situation we have with my SIL.... She is CONVINCED that my mom, sister, and I all hate her. WE DON'T!!!!!! We want nothing more than to be friends! But... we don't like not being allowed to see our own flesh and blood family. There are things like that that are hard for us. But we don't "not like her" despite what she thinks- you might just be in the same boat. Just because someone disagrees with you about something important doesn't mean that they don't like you, I promise!
    thesublimelife

    Answer by thesublimelife at 8:58 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • If you don't let him spend time with them, how is he going to get to know them??
    I would let him go.. It's her grandson. I am seriously appalled you are even questioning letting your son spend time with them. They are your husband's family, and they are reaching out to you.

    Lighten up and enjoy your couple of hours off.. They deserve to spend time with him, get to know him and enjoy his company.. Personally, I think you are being selfish
    Zanny

    Answer by Zanny at 9:09 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Yes I'd be uncomfortable. Maybe you could just explain to them that he won't be comfortable with people he doesn't see often and tell them you'd like to tag along. Otherwise, I'd tell them no!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:15 AM on Feb. 14, 2009