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She Cut Up The Dress I Bought Her!!

My 13 year old has a school valentines dance tonight, and we went dress shopping a couple weeks ago. Took awhile to find something appropriate for her age, and this morning I took it out of her closet to press it for her, and the dress is completely altered! She took it to her friend, and they cut and sewed it so thats its very revealing and short!! I told her no she couldn't wear it, and would have to choose another dress. Now she went and is throwing a tantrum, slamming doors, and calling me names. Her dad just stormed up in her room and said he had enough and shes no longer allowed to go to the dance and she has to stay in her room the rest of the day. Argghh!! Now she is up there kicking the walls and throwing stuff around in her room.
I feel bad that she has to miss the dance.Was this handled well or should it have been different?

 
WishyClarkson

Asked by WishyClarkson at 10:31 AM on Feb. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Wow. If I did something like that you better believe I would not be going to the dance. She will just have to have her little hissy fit and realize that what she did was totally disrespectful and just not acceptable behavior. You went to the trouble to take her shopping and buy her a dress that you felt was appropriate and she ruined it by making a very bad decision and now she will have to live with the consequences. :( I am sure you feel bad that she is disappointed, but she made her bed, now she has to lie in it. Oh, gosh, this makes me so glad I have a son and not a daughter. LOL Good luck momma...
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • um if it were me and i paid for the dress and she did that no she wouldnt be going either. as for kicking the walls and shit take her out of her room make her sit in the middle of the floor some where or stand in a corner. she wants to act like a baby she would be treated like one
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 10:33 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I agree. She shouldn't go to the dance. She should not be throwing fits like that either. On top of no dance she would be grounded for a week or more acting out like that.
    ldsdragonmom

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 10:37 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • She had no right to alter that dress. Throwing a fit like that while calling you names, she can keep her butt home and soak on that. Don't feel bad. What you did is right. Having a fit like is not going to get her way and they need to know it.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 10:43 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • No dance for sure.

    She is messing up her room? Then fine, it is her room. But she has to live in it. If she does damage she either repairs it or just has to live with it messed up. Keep calm. She can't control her raging hormones, but let her know the consequences of such uncontrolled and silly behavior, that SHE is the one who will suffer. You are very wise to let her know there are boundaries and limits, it will help her when it comes to decision making to have a feeling for what is the right way to go.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:45 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • You did the right thing and if she wants to destroy her things I would take them away.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 11:03 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Yep, no dance for sure.
    dle4125

    Answer by dle4125 at 11:11 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • if my 13yr old were acting like that, i would have given her a spanking, just like the toddler is is acting like!
    yes you did the right thing by first telling her to pick a new dress, then telling her no dance!
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 11:43 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I'm on Dad's side. Her ass definitely wouldn't be going to a dance. You already bought her one dress that she messed up. I wouldn't have offered to buy her a new one. She just simply wouldn't be going. Shes 13 years old, she should know better than to be kicking the walls. Shes acting like a spoiled brat. Bust her ass and put her in the corner! ! !
    BooHooMommy

    Answer by BooHooMommy at 11:45 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • dad was right. She should've have altered the dress you were being pretty cool by letting her pick a diff. outfit to wear and THEN she has a fit and begins to throw things etc. Uh no way, no she cannot go. Yes she must clean up all her mess after she is done and further grounding is not out of the question if she continues the behavior.
    WHY WOULD YOU REWARD OR ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR????? That would just be opening the door to even worse down the line.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:36 PM on Feb. 14, 2009