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what do you do with a screamer?

okay so i know most say put up with it... but im goin mad lately. my 2 half yr old is a screamer (he has developmenatal delay both mind and body wise), hes just started walking and now we are going back thru the screaming phase..wot do i do. it doesnt matter how long you play with him or cuddle him..as soon as i get up to go he starts screaming and running after me. i cant leave him alone anywhere...does it matter..yes. sometimes it wud be nice to just go and run the bath or get the tea ready without a creaming fit. i smoke again and have always smoked outside however now i just give up and find it easier to smoke in the kitchen and let him totally dominate me.(i live in the uk and its snowing here so having him follow me outside is not an option. have u had a creamer. doeS anyone have any tips please. its not good for him or me or his 3 yr old brother. i resort sometimes to putting him in the buggy to scream for a bit.

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angelmomma2

Asked by angelmomma2 at 11:10 AM on Feb. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • i know its not nice to lock him in his buggy but for the sake of getting housework done i do. hes all fine as long as he has me constantly holding him... a bit of a cheeky love me baby, he's gorgoues and i love him to bits but i wanna get thru this faze for everybodys sake.
    angelmomma2

    Answer by angelmomma2 at 11:11 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • is he ever around any other people? Like family. I am thinking maybe he is experiencing a bad case of seperation anixety and is scared when you walk away you won't come back. Could you maybe have family or friends watch him for a hour or two once a week, so that he sees when you leave you always come back to him?
    WishyClarkson

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 11:16 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • yeah he has loads of interaction with people. he goes to nursery all day mon and tues and hes fine, grandparents have him for a few hours in the week sumtimes. he is as gud as gold and a non winger for all incl dad but as soon as i walk back in the door its scream scream... people acknowledge noe tat its only when im about. he has to have me. i understand wot you say bout seperation anxiety etc they all have fazes. but im still stuck, he knows i will always cum back (i think ) . he never been left alone .. until now, cos i leave him to scream it out, but he goes nuts.. im torn between his way or mine? until he walked i carried him every where and he 16kg..my back is wrecked and im only 60kgs myself. and im having a camera soon cos i got a lot of pelvic probs. i dont wanna leave him scream cos it aint gonna do his health alotta good since he allergic to everything. i realy wish for sumone elses angle on this.
    angelmomma2

    Answer by angelmomma2 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • It's normal at this age. It can be annoying, but it is normal. He wants to be held. And he's also picking up on your stress - not blaming, just saying ... can you help engage him in some of the easy household tasks? Something simple to keep him occupied for a while? Does he interact with his brother? They are pretty close in age, so maybe have them doing things together while you do housework, or take five? Do you have a regular pediatrician that can offer help? Don't feel bad about the buggy; as long as he's not neglected or left alone for hours on end. that's okay. IT WILL GET BETTER!

    snowgirl79

    Answer by snowgirl79 at 1:57 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I completely agree with everything snowgirl said. Also, something I've heard people do for seperation anxiety is to play with him for a little while than say "I'll be right back" and walk out of the room, wait 30 sec than come back. Do this every so often and when he finally gets used to it and doesn't scream extend the time to 1 minute and so on.
    kira_5105

    Answer by kira_5105 at 6:03 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • yeah done these also and i do the explaination thing all all the time anyhow.its in my blood now. going in and out and the 30 sec thing dont work..i have perservered with it but the scream stil goes on and on. i aint talkin about a few secs... he will scream for hours. maybe its just his inability to grasp reason ..noone knows wots goin on his anybodies head.
    angelmomma2

    Answer by angelmomma2 at 4:41 AM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • Before you go away to do something else, make sure he is envolved in an activity with a toy he really likes. He is screaming to get your attention and to get you to pick him up. For him the screaming is working, it gets him what he wants! The way to stop attention getting behavior is to ignore it and reinforce the behavior you want to see more of. When he screams, just say a"mommy will be back" or "mommy loves you" and go on. Pay attention to the times when he is not screaming and give him ALOT of attention! When he screams, ignore or turn away!. The screaming may increase at first, but if you consistently ignore it and reward the behavior you want then it should turn around. Good Luck!
    LovetoTeach247

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 8:56 AM on Feb. 15, 2009

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