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How can I get my 5 year old daughter to stop wetting her pants in school and using the bathroom too frequently?

My daughter will be 6 in April. She started Kindergarten in the fall of 2012 and since then she has wet her pants in school multiple time. I have had numerous calls and notes from her teacher about her frequent bathroom use and pant wetting. She's been to the doctor and does not have any medical issues. I'm wondering if this is an anxiety issue or if she's getting bored. I'm so frustrated I could cry :( Today's call from the school nurse just made it so much worse. She doesn't do this at home it's only at school. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

**A little bit of extra history: Her father died when she was 2 going on 3 in front of her. To my knowledge she doesn't remember much of it. He had a massive heart attack while sitting on the sofa. She was also an only child up until July of 2011. She's an amazing big sister and I do my best to give both of my kids equal attention... but now that I think about it this may be an attention thing? I'm new to this whole thing and I'm not getting any help from her teacher. Her teacher nit picks everything she does. I'm beyond frustrated**

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Asked by nevensonmn at 6:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • If there is not medical indication and she is only doing it at school I would move forward to a psychologist to try to find the root of the problem.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:06 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • Some people just have to go to the bathroom more often than others. If there's no medical problem, maybe she's just one of those people. And exactly how does the school define "too frequent" bathroom use? I remember my oldest son's teacher seemed to think that using the bathroom once during the 6 hour school day was too much. I would also consider, if the use really is more than average, getting a second medical opinion.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:15 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • I would want to know how often they are allowing her to use the bathroom. I would also want to know if she is drinking more than a normal amount of liquids. If it doesn't happen at home, I would be very suspicious of just how all this is being handled at school. I might even ask to be allowed to observe on a few occasions to learn exactly what the problem is and how it is being handled. One person's idea of "too frequent" might not be the same as mine. This just doesn't smell right to me!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • Has she been tested to type II diabetes?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • I'd consult a urologist for a second opinion then the psychologist to see what may be going on.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:18 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • Her teacher says she's going about every 20 minutes and/or saying it's an emergency. She drinks a lot of water at school but not all that much at home.

    Comment by nevensonmn (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • If they are letting her drink to much water and not letting her go to the bathroom enough, that probably is the problem.  I heard teachers do not let the kids go to the bathroom enough.


    Answer by louise2 at 6:45 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • well she's constantly asking to go to the drinking fountain. I got a call from the school nurse this afternoon saying that she's having to go to the bathroom almost immediately after getting a drink of water. While potty training she would hold her urine until she couldn't hold it any more and then she'd wet her pants. She stopped that right before starting Kindergarten and shortly after starting school...the wetting began.

    Comment by nevensonmn (original poster) at 6:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • If her teacher is nitpicking her, that could be a big part of the problem. My DD had a similar issue in kindergarten. Without talking to DH & I first, FIL talked to a DHS/CPS worker - she told him that it can be a neglect issue on the teacher's part. What you need to do, if the teacher & nurse are downplaying the issue, is go to the principal. If the principal is of no help, go to the school board. If the school board doesn't resolve the issue, then turn the teacher & school in to DHS/CPS. It's a long process and some say it can't be done, but you can report a teacher/school for neglect if your child is having too many accidents only at school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

  • These are all good answers. I was going to agree about the urologist. That said, the school in our area is AWFUL about letting kids use the bathroom and yet they insist they have a water bottle at their desk all day. If she's drinking a ton at school, she has to go. Some bladders aren't the strongest at that age. I could be that simple. Back off the water and see if there is ANY difference. Also, I'm really sorry for your loss. : (

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:08 PM on Feb. 4, 2013

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