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2 Bumps

Teacher wants to hold my dd back

My DD is in second grade and her teacher wants to hold her back saying she is 6 months behind. I don't get it though because last year she had straight A's and B' s all year but this teacher says she wouldn't have passed her last year if she had her.

Well my dd tells me stuff like the teacher gave the kids a piece of candy but my dd couldn't get hers opened so she asked the teacher for help and the teacher told her no that she can do it and told my dd that she is no help. Then asked for a Kleenex one time cause she couldn't reach them and the teacher told her she can get it. Both times she.asked for her friends help because the teacher wouldnt help. She also told me one time she didn't understand something so she asked the teacher and the teacher told her to go away. I have asked the teacher about this, but she just tells me my dd is lying. My dd is also was bringing home like 15 pages of homework when I asked the teacher she said my dd asked for papers to play school, but my dd said the teacher said it was homework. I don't know if I want to hold her back and have the same teacher. The teacher said it is my choice, but she will be more behind next year of I don't hold her back and then I won't get a choice in third. I just don't see how she wen from so good to like D' s and F' s I think the teacher made her behind.

I got workbooks from the library and wrote down some math, reading and writing stuff to do with my dd to work hard with her so she gets caught up. She loves doing that stuff anyway well I guess she told her teacher we got books from the library and are going to do them together and her teacher I guess told her that she didn't need to to do those that she has homework to do(which she does so each night).


Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Feb. 5, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would contact the school district and ask for an evaluation of her, to be done by someone other than the teacher, or you could look into a place like Sylvan learning, but that would be my last resort, because they are for profit. You should have Map scores or something that she has taken.
    You need to investigate this more, and they will give her an evaluation test if you press it. You could also "pretend" you wanted to switch schools, I know when we moved they gave my kids test to see where they were at.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 12:49 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • This story sounds really off. There are such extremes here that it's impossible to find that middle ground where *this* is what probably really happened. I think it would be a good idea to have some kind of big meeting with the teacher, your daughter, the principal, her old teacher and maybe a school guidance counselor and start laying out everything everyone has said and calling everyone (including your daughter) out on what they've said.

    Some teachers do pass kids just to pass them, so it is possible that your daughter could be behind, even if she did seem to pass with flying colors last year. I find it a little hard to believe that she'd be this far behind, but who knows? That's why I think everyone needs to be brought in. This way you can find out from the old teacher if there's any chance your daughter struggled last year, and the new teacher will be forced to either lie to her boss or come clean to you.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:22 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • They don't have agendas? Our schools have kids write all homework down in their agendas, it so much better then having a second grader being like this is my homework. Can you ask the teacher to email you their homework schedule every week? I know in second grade, our teachers were making the kids be more independent. Ask for a meeting with all if her teachers, and also if she does get held back you can request she doesn't get the same teacher.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 8:06 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • something sounds very off here

    teacher saying child is lying- children can see the world one way when something else really happened, but straight out lying with htis kind of detail in story? i would think teacher would have said- well, it happened this way, and it would have been something in the middle of what 2nd grader said

    in 3rd you do not have option to hold back= this makes no sense to me, and sounds like a used car salemans tactic= why if child needed at 3rd grade could you not- makes no sense

    sounds like you need another school person in a meeting with this teacher and you to decide what options you have

    repeating year came up as option for my child, and school very very set that she would NOT have same teacher (if only one for that grade- then no option, but if more than one teacher per grade- you could insist that she have different teacher IF she repeats the grade

    you need another school professional to ask

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:14 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • This sounds horrible but its what I did when we had a problem with DS second grade teacher. I put one of those small voice recorders like I used to use in college in his back pack and recorded the whole day's events. She no longer has a job at our school system. He didn't even know the thing was there.

    Answer by BeautyGuru at 9:38 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • They do, but the only thing they write in them is spelling words.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:10 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • What are her test scores? I would say get her an evaluation outside of the school, then you will have a clear picture if she is behind or not. When you work with her, can she do the work?

    Answer by jerseydiva at 9:12 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I voted up fiatpax's answer because I thought she put her finger on some key issues.

    But I noticed her skepticism about "won't have a choice in 3rd." I think it's not that the teacher was saying she "can't" get held back in 3rd, but that this year you have a choice (to go with the teacher's recommendation or not) but you won't have a choice in 3rd grade (the child can be held back without the parent's consent.) That's the subtle leverage.

    Anyway, I do think there are a lot of troubling elements (including the teacher's "she's lying" response, as pointed out by fiatpax, versus giving a descriptive account of events. Maybe she was in the position of "answering to" accusations.) I believe you have posted other times about the dynamics in your daughter's classroom & it has sounded like a bumpy relationship, and if it is so this could impact things as far as the teacher's perceptions of your daughter.

    I say Go with your gut!

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:59 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • Yes with me she does the work. She reads no problem and gets almost every answer right when we do homework together. Th teacher sends home redo papers even if she only misses one answer. Where do I go outside the school to get her tested? Her dr?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:10 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • Beauty..I could try this.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Feb. 5, 2013