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6 Bumps

Would you have made him go?

This morning my six year old had a hard time waking up. Meaning that he woke up but was very crabby, crying, saying he wanted to stay home, refusing to get ready...just really having a hard time.

Would you have let him stay home?

Answer Question

Asked by SleepingBeautee at 9:39 AM on Feb. 5, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (192,105 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • It would have depeneded on how many days he had stayed home this year. If it was a lot I would defintly make him go because even at times kids will see how far they can push you because when your little I guess school is just not fun. I would have made him go.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:06 AM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • If he's not sick I would have sent him bc once he knows you fall for it the first time he will continue to act this you did good ;)

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:06 AM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • As long as he isn't sick, he goes to school. The only exception I have made was the couple of nights he got about 2 hours of sleep and couldn't function the next day.

    Answer by kmath at 9:42 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • If he did not have a fever no. Later in life we will have to go to work or something else that we don't want to do or are to tired, crabby etc. We have to learn that that is not an excuse not to follow through on our responsibilities. JMO.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:31 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • If he had gone to bed and slept well and had no other reason to be crabby and not feeling well then yes he would stay home, but only because twice we have sent my son to school saying he was tired etc and then got a call that he puked at school and 3 times we have allowed him to stay home after same complaint only to have him puke later also. My son is not one to ask to stay home so when he does we allow it. Every time there was no fever and no other signs of sickness until he puked.

    Answer by aeneva at 12:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I ended up cuddling him on the kitchen floor. We talked about what he learned yesterday and how he would miss out learning something new today. He felt a bit better and off he went.
    But as a mom I still felt pretty rotten making him go.

    Comment by SleepingBeautee

    I think it's desirable for the initiative or willingness to come from within them (because they went through their feelings & then adjusted to the point of finding some internal resolution) rather than being "enforced" from outside. We tend to enforce things out of fear (if we don't, then they still might not want to go "and then what?!") so we end up injecting struggle/opposition into things pre-emptively, because what if they DON'T reach internal resolution or become willing to go? But then we (and they) miss out, and the dynamic of being "made" to do things gets reinforced.

    Sounds like you've got a good hunch about what's up, re: enough sleep.

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:01 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • Both of my kids have woken up crabby before. It's usually after them staying up past bed time and playing/reading instead of going to sleep. It's not MY fault they chose to do something they know they're not supposed to do instead of going to sleep.

    Would they still have to go to school? YES
    Do they get to stay home? NO (One condition: we sometimes have these stupid furlough days where the kids are in school for 2 hours. I MIGHT let them stay home on days like that)

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:38 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I tend to agree girlwithC. I ended up cuddling him on the kitchen floor. We talked about what he learned yesterday and how he would miss out learning something new today. He felt a bit better and off he went.

    But as a mom I still felt pretty rotten making him go.

    Comment by SleepingBeautee (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • Sounds like you know your son & trust him not to be crabby "for no reason."

    It is hard to answer your question accurately because while I'm pretty sure my kid would end up going to school, it doesn't equal "Yes, I would have 'made' him go." I think it's that I don't tend to focus on the outcome: whether or not I'd have "made him" go. I focus on individual responses to the present moment, so what I "would" do is more about how I would respond to the situation when presented with a child who woke up having a very hard time, not about deciding a predetermined outcome (such as, making my child go if he/she is not sick.)

    I've had days when my daughter (also at age 6, as I remember, lol!) had a hard time in the morning. I focused on my response to her difficulty: how I heard her, how I responded. Looking back, she never has stayed home on one of those days, but it wasn't about "making" her go, it was about helping her process.

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:10 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I would have sent him. No fever, no diarrhea/vomiting, no reason to stay home. If it proves to actually be illness, the school nurse can call. With it looking like a Tuesday thing in the short time since Christmas break, I would say its lack of sleep over the weekend and not illness.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:49 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

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