lost confused scared

Have you sat down and talked to him? Not confront him, talked to him about the changes in the marriage?

I'm with Lost on this one. You need to sit down with him and bring to his attention all the things you have been noticing. Don't outright accuse him of cheating. Just let him know that you have noticed some changes and you want to know if he is feeling ok. It could be something as simple as a midlife crisis for him.
Of course, it's possible that he could be cheating and you need to prepare yoursef for that possibility. Before you talk to him, I would sit down and think about what you want to do if he is cheating or what you want to do if it's just a midlife crisis.
-Ashley

lots of red flags
trust your instincts
and yes, you can talk to him
but remember that cheaters lie
IF he is cheating..
he might tell you the truth IF he is ready to stop living two lives
but if he is not ready to come clean- he will show anger, and blame everything on you

there is a group on here for women whose men are cheating or they think they might be cheating

Well your choice of action depends on whether you want this relationship or not. If you do sit down and talk with your husband bout all these feelings and ask for some answers to the questions that are bothering you.

I would be concerned too. I would confront him and see what he says.

I'm concerned you think that a midlife crisis would be an excuse for cheating. There is no excuse for cheating. It sounds like he is a control freak and a hypocrite. Sounds like he's cheating and that he's the wrong person for you. Do you want to be with someone dishonest, can't communicate, and is controlling of you? You need to start respecting yourself more. It hurts but he's a jerk and you need to move on. Jerks will always be jerks. They rarely change. Speaking from my own experience. Do you really expect him to be honest if you confront him? It never turns out good and always ends up with fighting, tears and possibly physical harm. Focus on getting out. Focus on what you want. Don't settle for someone who's not man enough to end the relationship before being with someone else. Be prepared to hear lies from him. He gets perks from staying with you while he is with someone else. Focus on what you can do now that you know.

Talk to him, and try to maintain composer

. In my opion, he is cheating.

When I was dating my husband I had the same feelings and found lots of porn on his phone and lots of texts from other women stating it was fun the other night and I love you and all of that. So when I confronted him he said he had an addiction to porn and a lot of his friends would send pictures of naked women to his phone which made me feel like that the kind of girl he wanted. Whenever I where makeup he always thinks I have been up to something because I am a stay at home mom and my attire usualy consists of pj's and hair pulled up in a messy pony tail. You need to sit down with him and let him know that he can tell you whatever is bothering him and if their is someone else he needs to tell you. Try to be understanding even as heart wrenching as it may be you need to understand why he is doing it. I wish you the best of luck and wish I could offer more advice. Good luck.

I've been married twice. All went well at first, then both husbands started accusing me of cheating on them (I never did) when infact they had been cheating on me. My first husband was really good at hiding things; but I suspected something was wrong when he didn't want sex, picked on the way I looked, critisized everything I did, got all spruced up for work (he worked in a lumber yard). I asked him if there was someone else and he swore on his life and our two year old son's life that he wasn't. One day; having to know for sure, I waited until he left for work and showed up at his work an hour later to ask him some ridiculous made up question only to find that he had not gone in to work that day. The next time he spruced up for work, I told him that I had an early appointment so I could leave the house before he did, and I followed him to the woman he was seeing's apartment. Bye, bye Charlie.