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2 Bumps

lost confused scared

I been thinkn my husband is cheatin on me leaving early for work comming home late most days. Always has some where to go and dont invite me he recent ly put a lock on his . he accuses me of wareing makeup for other guys. I came home from work yesterday to notice hed showered and had wpre dress clothes earlier that day. Mind you I came hom a little after d in the afternoons and he runs a Junkyard. He left his phone today so I went thru it to find a bunch of beasitaliy porn an just porn. We hardly have sex any more he use to want it everu single day and gey mad when he didn't gey it what do I do.. I know I shouldnt have went thru his phone but I did and know im even more lost

Answer Question
 
itslife906

Asked by itslife906 at 9:47 AM on Feb. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Have you sat down and talked to him? Not confront him, talked to him about the changes in the marriage?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:53 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I'm with Lost on this one. You need to sit down with him and bring to his attention all the things you have been noticing. Don't outright accuse him of cheating. Just let him know that you have noticed some changes and you want to know if he is feeling ok. It could be something as simple as a midlife crisis for him.
    Of course, it's possible that he could be cheating and you need to prepare yoursef for that possibility. Before you talk to him, I would sit down and think about what you want to do if he is cheating or what you want to do if it's just a midlife crisis.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 10:10 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • lots of red flags
    trust your instincts
    and yes, you can talk to him
    but remember that cheaters lie
    IF he is cheating..
    he might tell you the truth IF he is ready to stop living two lives
    but if he is not ready to come clean- he will show anger, and blame everything on you

    there is a group on here for women whose men are cheating or they think they might be cheating
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:20 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • Well your choice of action depends on whether you want this relationship or not. If you do sit down and talk with your husband bout all these feelings and ask for some answers to the questions that are bothering you.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:23 AM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • I would be concerned too. I would confront him and see what he says.
    AnonNdrag

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 10:07 PM on Feb. 5, 2013

  • He is a hard person to talk to unless he is drinking.. He is 24 do men have midlife crisrs at this age.. Were both stressed over bills and what not. But I guess this is how he deals with it.. Hes been cheated on in the past and promise d he would never cheat on me. I know promises don't mean it all the time.. He gets mad wheb I ware eyeliner to work.. . Sorry mY spelling a an grammer are bad im on my phoneand it keeps glitchen an moving the box. Whats better talkn to him sober or drubk.. Dont your true feelings come out qhe. Ur drunk
    itslife906

    Comment by itslife906 (original poster) at 11:28 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • I'm concerned you think that a midlife crisis would be an excuse for cheating. There is no excuse for cheating. It sounds like he is a control freak and a hypocrite. Sounds like he's cheating and that he's the wrong person for you. Do you want to be with someone dishonest, can't communicate, and is controlling of you? You need to start respecting yourself more. It hurts but he's a jerk and you need to move on. Jerks will always be jerks. They rarely change. Speaking from my own experience. Do you really expect him to be honest if you confront him? It never turns out good and always ends up with fighting, tears and possibly physical harm. Focus on getting out. Focus on what you want. Don't settle for someone who's not man enough to end the relationship before being with someone else. Be prepared to hear lies from him. He gets perks from staying with you while he is with someone else. Focus on what you can do now that you know.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:59 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Talk to him, and try to maintain composer


    . In my opion, he is cheating.

    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 4:07 AM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • When I was dating my husband I had the same feelings and found lots of porn on his phone and lots of texts from other women stating it was fun the other night and I love you and all of that. So when I confronted him he said he had an addiction to porn and a lot of his friends would send pictures of naked women to his phone which made me feel like that the kind of girl he wanted. Whenever I where makeup he always thinks I have been up to something because I am a stay at home mom and my attire usualy consists of pj's and hair pulled up in a messy pony tail. You need to sit down with him and let him know that he can tell you whatever is bothering him and if their is someone else he needs to tell you. Try to be understanding even as heart wrenching as it may be you need to understand why he is doing it. I wish you the best of luck and wish I could offer more advice. Good luck.
    Im-HiDdEn

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 9:29 AM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • I've been married twice. All went well at first, then both husbands started accusing me of cheating on them (I never did) when infact they had been cheating on me. My first husband was really good at hiding things; but I suspected something was wrong when he didn't want sex, picked on the way I looked, critisized everything I did, got all spruced up for work (he worked in a lumber yard). I asked him if there was someone else and he swore on his life and our two year old son's life that he wasn't. One day; having to know for sure, I waited until he left for work and showed up at his work an hour later to ask him some ridiculous made up question only to find that he had not gone in to work that day. The next time he spruced up for work, I told him that I had an early appointment so I could leave the house before he did, and I followed him to the woman he was seeing's apartment. Bye, bye Charlie.
    Sierrarose99

    Answer by Sierrarose99 at 10:31 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

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