Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

Giving birth.

Does delivering a child without the use of pain medication make someone more of a woman? Obviously I don't feel this is true. But I have a few friends and a sil who seem to think this is true. While in labor with my first dd I got an epidural, before I knew I would have a c section, and my sil told me... You can do it without meds I did be strong, women didn't have medication in the past and did fine without it. Now my friend who just had her daughter who let everyone know that she would never use pain medication is glorifying how she didn't use it and how she doesn't understand why any woman would want to take away from the experience of delivery. What are your thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by skinnyslokita at 3:19 PM on Feb. 5, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
Answers (34)
  • Ps - I am not bashing moms who deliver naturally without meds. My comment is directed at the braggart types who use their life experiences to put others down and try to make others feel inferior to them. As if THEY are so much better than everyone else, and THEY are the ones who know-it-all.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:30 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • I don't think that using meds during birthing makes anyone "less of a woman". In MY opinion- what makes a person "less of a woman" in the whole birth thing is when they feel the need to use their experience to put others down, and brag about how they are so much 'better' than everyone else just because they went natural and did not choose to have meds.
    Each woman is different, each birth is different, and each person's pain level is different. When giving birth the MOST important part of the birthing process is the end result - having your baby alive and healthy in your arms! It should not matter if you used meds, or how the baby was delivered (vaginal vs c-section).

    Answer by MizLee at 11:26 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • I was one of those women but I did it for the benefit of my child not mine, did not brag about it, or put down anyone who thinks different, that was my option and I took it....pharmaceuticals and modern medicine has not given me any security only doubts....

    Answer by older at 8:49 AM on Mar. 23, 2013

  • well first off no one gets a medal for doing it without pain meds. you aren't special or better, but bragging makes you annoying and stupid. I will let you in on a little secret. I'm a L&D nurse and many of those ladies that are the most vocal about not having had pain meds are, in fact, get this... LYING ABOUT IT! I know, right! shocking! Seriously I see it pretty regularly that i will have a labor patient that had an epidural and when everyone comes the next day she tells them that she had no pain meds and brags about how awesome she did. I have even seen scheduled c-section patients tell visitors that they had all natural vaginal deliveries. Only you and your nurse and doctor know the truth. There are A LOT of women that see it as a competition and put others down for taking meds. - that's bull shit.

    Answer by nurse_maya at 7:13 AM on Mar. 22, 2013

  • I think that making your own, fully informed decision is what makes you more of a woman.

    I chose to forego pain medication for both of my births (and if I ever have more kids I will be doing it sans meds as well), and it worked out very well for me. I'm happy with my decision. I have a good friend who wanted to birth without pain meds and made the fully informed decision to get an epidural late in her labor so she could rest (after a super long, exhausting ordeal). Why on earth would I think I'm more of a woman than she is? Her birth was arguably much harder than mine. Physically and emotionally, despite having had pain relief.

    Empowerment is what makes a woman stronger. The power to choose which is best for each of us, individually.

    I love my natural births. Some women love the epidural. As long as you know the risks and benefits of both sides and make an informed decision, you are every bit as much a woman

    Answer by AtiFreeFalls at 8:47 PM on Feb. 15, 2013

  • I think it makes for a healthier child, but "more of a woman?" No.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:58 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Everyone has a different level of pain tolerance. My sister did it twice without anything only because she was more scared of the epidural needle paralyzing her rather than being tough.
    I had an epi with the first and something else with the second, can't remember the name of it but it only lasted 2 hours

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:30 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • No winter, that was before I found out I had to get an emergency c section. I went through 11 hours of labor and made it through half without meds until the gave me patocine, then I couldn't handle it and said screw this give me and epidural lol

    Comment by skinnyslokita (original poster) at 11:41 AM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Did I understand correctly that your SIL said you should get your c-section without meds???

    Answer by winterglow at 2:10 AM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • The ONLY thing that makes a woman a woman is the presence of two X chromosomes. Every woman who possesses these is equal to every other woman.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:44 AM on Feb. 6, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.