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If my boyfriend pays child support isn't he allowed visitation?

This is kind of lengthy so i'm sorry. My boyfriend has a 4 year old son who he has paid child support for since he left the mom 3 years ago (the state the mom lives in does not requie you to have a custody agreement if child support is being paid). He used to take him every weekend then it went to every other weekend when he started a new job there was never an issue with him taking him until a couple months ago. Now she refuses to let him take his son and if she does decide to let him it's on her terms and he is torn because she only says he can have him on the weekends she knows he has to work so now it's either lose his job or not see his son and she said if he goes to work while he has his son she will move him so far away he will never hear from them or see him again. I don't know if this was wrong of me or not but i told her to cut off all communication with her until he can go file for custody but he misses his son so much he won't look at the bigger picture.

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Asked by cnicole6128 at 12:37 PM on Feb. 6, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • He can bring her to court. Tell him to get a lawyer.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • no, the two do not go hand in hand. he needs to go to court and file for visitation.

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Child support and visitation are not tied together. One does not equal the other. In this case it sounds like bio mom is jerking dad around just because she can as there is no custody/visitation agreement in place. Dad's best bet is to go to court and get one put into place that forces her to comply with a reasonable visitation schedule. What you DONT want to do is start some drama, or be juvenile with bio mom while this is taking place. Dont start playing games with her. Judges hate that.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 12:45 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • No. Visitation and child support are completely separate. My ex sees my kids every other weekend but hasnt paid child support in forever! Your bf needs to go to court.

    Answer by missanc at 12:45 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • They do not go hand in hand but they usually do. Take her to court and file for custody.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:46 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Child support and visitation are two separate things, and without an order in place, she can pretty much do what she wants and get away with it - until an order is put in place. If he wants to see his kid, he needs to go to court and get an order in place.

    And frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself for telling him to cut off communication. He needs to keep communication open on his end so that it's clear he's trying. And even if he didn't - how on earth could you expect him to cut it off? How about if he told you to cut off communication with your kid?

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • our county does not "require" a visitation agreement either so the one who wants to see thier child must go to court for visitation rights.

    he needs a lawyer, as all the prior posters have stated, child support and visitation are seperate issues.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:55 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • I wish I could vote Wendy up another 10 times.

    Agreed with everything said so far. What kind of awful are you to suggest that he cut off contact. I couldn't respect, let alone date, a man who wouldn't take his responsibilities seriously.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:56 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • The two are not tied together. If he wants a formal visitation agreement then he needs to go to court and get it.

    Answer by aeneva at 1:11 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • He can go to court without an attorney and honestly will probably get the standard every other weekend and one weeknight regardless of whether he had one or not.

    Answer by missanc at 1:16 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

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