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5 Bumps

How to shower, LOL adult content

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.

Answer Question
 
staciandababy

Asked by staciandababy at 5:09 PM on Feb. 6, 2013 in Entertainment

Level 38 (102,010 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • LOL. Stop spying on me! This is so accurate it's scary. :D
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 5:13 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • With several exceptions, including the wiener shaking, I have to say I shower more like a man than a woman. For me it's get in, get clean, get out.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 5:13 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Have you been installing webcams around here again? LOL
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:15 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Can I say I really hate when dh throws his wet towel on our bed. Ugh lol and thei wiener shaking just stop it. STOP IT lol
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 5:16 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • # 467
    on the list of reasons to be thankful that you are single
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:17 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Omg! That is so true!
    PandaGwen

    Answer by PandaGwen at 5:18 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • yes!! the wet towel on the bed killlllls me
    staciandababy

    Comment by staciandababy (original poster) at 5:24 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • The pee pee dance/woo woo sound is something I discuss in length (pun intended) at parties.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:08 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • Im pretty sure my DH admires his weiner in the mirror (and to be fair, it is a pretty nice one!! LOL) And he does take the quickest showers known to mankind... at least compared to mine... BUT he doesn't do any of the rest. He'd never leave a mess in the bathroom or throw a wet towel on the bed. He is actually very considerate that way... One of the reasons I married him, My ex was a total pig. My DH was/is such a refreshing change... :)
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

  • This describes my husband and sons to a T- read it to them and we all had a GREAT laugh!
    Thank you for bringing it to their attention!
    madmueller

    Answer by madmueller at 7:01 PM on Feb. 6, 2013

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