Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

For adoptive parents - have you told your child/children that they are adopted?

Are you proud or do you feel that it's not necessary to tell them?

Answer Question

Asked by madmueller at 11:42 PM on Feb. 7, 2013 in Adoption

Level 22 (14,548 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • well I am not really adopting persay but I was adopted and I am a firm believer that you tell !

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 11:45 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • Luvmygrandbaby - I too am adopted and my parents told us the day we could understand..AND I AM PROUD!

    Comment by madmueller (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • Our newest addition to our family was adopted and she was old enough to understand what was taking place. She doesn't know ALL of the reasons why we have her and won't until she is older and can handle that kind of information about her birth parents.

    Answer by coala at 11:48 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • I was am older adoptee who experienced being taken from my mother, foster and group homes.
    (apr 3?)
    I was told the day I went into teir home that they were mine forever and ever and always.
    At the time the love and security was overwhelming.

    I would tell.

    Answer by feralxat at 11:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

  • We have been very open with our 7 year old that she came to our family through adoption. We have an open adoption to where we see her birth-family five times a year (recently no longer BMom, but that's just a big ol can of worms) and there are cards exchanged sometimes in between, so it would be hard not to be. Everything is very age appropriate and at this point all she really understands is that she was in BMom's tummy and she gave her to us when she was a baby.

    Although we are ever as much as a real family as one all blood-related, I do feel it is necessary for the Adoptee to know of their adoption. I scream to the hilltops how our family came to be because I am very proud of my family and I hate how taboo the conversation of adoption still is. I hope DD grows up to feel comfortable in her own skin and with her adoption...and know that it is just a small part of all the wonderful things about her that make her so awesome!

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:04 AM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • I cannot remember a day I didn't know I was adopted. My baby book stated it, and even had a place for my adoptive parents to write information about their experience in adopting me. My announcements proudly proclaimed, "I wasn't expected... I was selected!"

    As a child, I pitied the non-adoptees I knew; they weren't selected. They and their parents were stuck with each other!

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:19 AM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • My girls were 10 when they were adopted so they knew. My son was an infant and I told him then. We had a special book made for him detailing his adoption story and his details before he lived with us, such as the names of his foster parents, birth parents, where he was born, how big he was etc. It's really cute and the illustrations actually look like him as well as my twin girls ha-ha. We also have many books that we have read to the kids about adoption and how we became a family. I love the one written by Mr. Rogers! I believe it's better to always know the truth even before you can understand the truth.


    Answer by Luuckymommy at 5:13 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Our dd was adopted at 17 months old and we started from day 1 telling her the story of how she came to us. Of course, it is pretty obvious as she is a different race from us. She is proud to be adopted at the age of 7 years old...that may change over the years as she matures in life and her story...I hope that she is always proud of her heritage, being adopted and able to come to us with any issues that she has.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 8:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • My dd's were 5, 6 & 7 when they were adopted. There was no hiding it from them. The only thing we kept back was some of the details until they were older and able to handle things better.


    Answer by baconbits at 2:29 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Absolutely! We told before he could understand, just like teaching the sky is blue, the trees are green, and I'll never forget the first day we met, you were 6 months old when you came to live with us. I'm very proud to be his mommy. No secrets, but age-appropriate information. It's a process.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:21 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.