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grandson 12 is a 6th grader he is not athletic, he is very short for his age he says nobody wants to be his friend we had bulling problems but that has slowed down what can I do to help him find friends

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memescoobywink

Asked by memescoobywink at 12:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My oldest son is not into sports, he wasn't terribly coordinated, and although he wanted to be friends with everybody, he had a hard time in social conversations. I put him in martial arts three years and it's been really good for him. It's not a sport, so he's really only working to better himself. It has boosted his confidence and self esteem a lot. The other kids there are awesome kids. Very well behaved, very respectful both to adults and to each other. He's really in a group of good quality friends now with parents who are really involved and supportive.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:19 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Our 9 yr old son isn't into sports, and he doesn't have a ton of friends. But, he has one really good friend. They hang out on the weekends sometimes, and love to play chess, video games, and take walks to the creek. We just keep telling him how smart he is, how funny he is, and what a great kid he is. As long as their self esteem is good, and they have our support, I think they'll be fine.
    Focus on his strengths, and find something he'd like to get into, and then he'll more than likely make friends that share the same interests. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:59 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Is he interested in anything else?
    Chess? Does he like science? Math? Technology?
    What clubs does his school offer?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:59 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • encourage him to join a club or a sport.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Find other kids that share his interest and other quiet kids. Try not to be part of clicks, no one likes everyone. Trying to be all things to all people never works, help him understand that.
    sunshine196

    Answer by sunshine196 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • I think there is good advice here. If there is something he's interested in, even if it's outside of school, foster that interest. He may meet someone who is like minded whether it be rock climbing, art or acting classes, etc...
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:51 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • I agree with JulieJacobKyle. Martial arts was really good for my oldest. He isn't athletic, but LOVED Seibiukan. It really helped him focus in school and relax socially, because it boosted his confidence.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:59 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • I'm backing up what Julie said too. My son (9) has been in Taekwondo for about a year now. It has done wonders for him socially (diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD a few months ago), has helped his coordination, and he's having a blast too. We were just talking in a class the other day how much our school feels like an extended family. We all look out for each other, help each other, and do everything we can to help one another improve ourselves.

    Not everything is peachy keen, but we are all pretty welcoming ans supportive of each other. It's an individual team "sport". We all work together as a team to help out, but in the end, the only one we compete against is ourselves. Yes, there are tournaments you can participate in, but they are NOT required to advance in belt ranks.

    It has also helped my daughter (5) not be so shy around new people. She's been in class for about six months now, along with her parents.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 5:02 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • he obviously does not want to be in places where there are lots of kids and kids at that age are so cruel and mean it's heartbreaking!
    Have him try tennis or golf. Both are sports where he is on his own taking lessons and as he gets better he will get more self confidence. Don't try baseball, basketball, football or any of those other sports because if he messes up he will never hear the end of it.
    Also try karate, there are all kinds of kids who take karate and love it. Gives them positive reinforcement, they are meeting kids who start off just on the same level as they do and they work together...plus the coach would never put up with kids bullying!
    madmueller

    Answer by madmueller at 10:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Have a boy come to your house and have one on one play dates....hang with any cousins/family, how about anything at the church? Ask the school counsel for ideas, once summer comes join a pool, keep family time strong so he has support. Boy Scouts?
    Onecrazedmom

    Answer by Onecrazedmom at 11:08 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

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