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Maybe I've been misunderstanding this and it was supposed to be a compliment, WDYT?

I've had 2 c-sections both for fetal distress. My son was a surprise breech with thick meconium,some minor drops in heart tones and was blue for the first two hours of his life needing some oxygen. My daughter was born at 34 weeks because I was in labor that couldn't be stopped and her heart tones were bad, she had to be intubated for her first 6 hours of life then was off of oxygen. My son had to be physically pulled and wiggled and worked from my pelvis and my daughter just never seemed to be able to be able to get past a certain point. Weights 6lb 8oz and 5lb 3oz
There seems to be some kind of structure that my kids get stuck on and then they get stressed out. I'm ok with this,really I am. I actually have a few birth defects to my legs just things like some muscles by my kneecaps and a small bone in my ankle that never formed right so something in my pelvis being off doesn't shock me.
It just seems like when this gets brought up with (or by) certain family members that they have to tell me they had faith in me that I could do it myself.
All this leaves me is confused as too whether this is a compliment I'm not understanding?

Answer Question
 
lizziebreath

Asked by lizziebreath at 9:30 PM on Feb. 8, 2013 in Pregnancy

Level 19 (6,762 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm confused.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:32 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Seems like a veiled slap in the face to me. They thought you should have been able to have a vaginal birth, and didn't.

    If you're confused, ASK them what they mean/meant by their comments.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:38 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • look!
    you and your doctors delivered healthy babies.
    if they need something else then they need to talk to their doctors.
    end of story
    no discussion.
    and if they are so crass as to offer unwanted advice, information, opinions tell them this:
    I think the sun is in the seventh house.
    and then wander off
    fuck the haters take care of your kids
    end of story
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 9:38 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • I agree with Feralxat and Rosehawk. It sounds like meddling to me, not a compliment. Having faith in you wouldn't have helped you give birth to babies who got stuck and were in distress. Chance are, had you tried to bear children in the days before C-sections, you or your precious babies would not have survived. Tell your family members to mind their own business. If that doesn't work, tell them to get bent.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:26 PM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • Oh, and if it weren't for modern technology and C-sections, me AND my two kids would be dead. My son was an emergency C-section after 24+ hours of labor. I found out 3 years later that my bony structure was too small for his big head. There was NO WAY he was going to fit through me. My daughter was a planned C-section, and good thing too, her head was the same size as her brother's at birth. For all intents and purposes they were the same size.

    Son: 8lb 1oz, 21 inches (I think)
    Daughter: 7lb 10oz, 20.25 inches(I think)
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • I generally try to take what people say in the best light s It could be that this member was trying to besupposrtive in that you have 2 wonderful children born successfully.
    But even given my propensity give the benefit of the doubt, with that phrasing, I am inclined to thing it was a veiled insult.

    I am sorry.
    Some people are ignorant.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:25 AM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • Assume it's a compliment and move on. Give it no more thought.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:10 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

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