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6 Bumps

LYING ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN!!!! what would you do?

I've been with my husband since 2006, but married for three with a 5months old baby.
I found out on Christmas day through a friend of his that he has kids. Not 1,2, but3!!!!
Issue came up before where I asked him if he had any and he straight lied in my face and told me they were his nephews!!! I've suspected this all along but choose to trust and believe in his words.
worst he told me he loves more then them and didn't want to lose me reason why he chose to not tell me. What do I do??? Please I need some opinions.


Asked by Hauss at 10:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • Some of his friends mentioned that he had children. So he had to answer to you about it because it came up unexpectedly. You said a couple of times that you wanted to believe his explanation (that he was supporting his nephews), so you may have had a reaction of surprise/upset at that news that could have caused him to fear losing you if he told the truth/came clean about them. So he got cold feet and tried to explain it away.
    All of this would be understandably upsetting--that he didn't mention his children outright but instead apparently tried to hide their existence from you completely, and then that he lied when the truth WAS exposed.
    It also can be explained or understood/contextualized. (Fear)
    Obviously it is an issue. Whether it is an issue that precludes a future together? I don't think that's definite. I don't think there's one right thing anyone can "tell" you.

    The youngest is 6 when you've been together since 2006?

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Why would he be fearful about telling you he had children? Is he just a loser or did you feel strongly that he NOT have kids?

    As to your question, I'm just saying I wouldn't be able stay married to a man that lied to me about something THIS huge. And I'd divorce him anyway just for saying he loved me more than his kids. Speaks volumes about his character, or lack thereof.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • LEAVE. He lied about the kids, he probably lied about the marriage and you're married to a BIGAMIST.

    Your baby is only five months old; it won't make a whit of difference to her. If there's an older child, that child will get over it.

    I suspect you were used for residency.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:09 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • If this is true i am sure there are more lies to be uncovered.

    Answer by DJDNY at 11:04 PM on Feb. 9, 2013


    Answer by FreeForAll at 10:13 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • a man who lies about having children is a waste of space on earth!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 10:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • does he financiallt support them
    are they with the same woman
    does his family know about them
    has the entire family been lying to you about the 3 kids for 7 years

    this is better than a soap opera
    i have so many questions

    Answer by feralxat at 10:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • How did this go on for 6 years without you knowing? How old are the kids, does he pay child support?


    welcome to cafemom


    Answer by DJDNY at 10:31 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • so how did his family never bing this up?

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 10:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2013

  • How can he have been supporting these children and you DIDN'T notice the missing money?

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2013