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Want to join military but hubs doesn't want me to...

Respect his choice or go with mine?
Have not even spoke with a recruiter because I am afraid of hubs reaction, but I've always wanted to join airforce. So just say I got in....go for it?
Or is that beyond disrespectful. People I've asked have various answers, I'm surprised at the different answers. Let's see how this goes!


Asked by lullaby572 at 1:20 AM on Feb. 10, 2013 in Military

Level 13 (1,129 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • So your time to be eligible is ticking away. Ok I get that. Talk to him and find out why he objects. As you say some of the same or similar jobs can be held by civilians. I don't know because I do not know your area of education.
    Many think they will not be deployed but that is just not the case with most military. Some never deploy but it is not a safe bet.
    I think itis an honorable proffession but just like being a policeman or fireman, this is just not a job you can do without support.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:54 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • How many kids?

    Answer by funlovinlady at 1:22 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I think its something you and him need to seriously discuss and find an agreeable compromise. He shouldn't forbid you from doing something you want to do but a decision like that greatly affects his life too so his feelings and opinions should be considered.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 1:24 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • You're married and this is a huge change of lifestyle.
    You should respect your husband.

    Why didn't you do this before getting married?

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 1:22 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Did you discuss this before you got married? Why or why not?
    What did he think then if you did?
    Do you have children?

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:28 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Yes we did, he has known all along, I have been waiting this whole time to see if either of us changes our feelings about it and we have not. I have 2 kids but he is a stay at home dad anyway already.

    Comment by lullaby572 (original poster) at 1:31 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Being in the military is a huge commitment, not just for the ones who are in but for their spouses and children as well. There's a lot of moving involved, which can be hard for some people to take, and then there's the matter of what happens if the person in the military has to go into harms way. It's not going to work if you aren't both on board. Your husband shouldn't be able to hold you back if you really want to do something, but truthfully, you may end up having to decide which you want more, him or the Air Force. Be sure of which choice you will make before you go doing something he doesn't agree with, or he may make the choice for you.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:32 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • So you married and had children knowing this huge difference was not worked out?

    I would not have recommended marriage with this unsettled between you. Blunt I know.
    I am a fan of the military but this is not just a job. This is a dangrous job and one where he could be left completely alone with the children and left a widower at the worst.
    This is not a decission you can make without both being in agreement unless you are OK with getting a divorce. Again I know this is blunt.
    May I ask how old you are and how old the chidren are? Also is he a stay at home by choice or lack of jobs available or some other reason? Yes it too make a difference.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:43 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Thanks. I was finishing my schooling so I could go in as officer. Then again I can work in civilian life. I always wanted to provide for my family to the best of my ability and I know military can offer that while still I can be working hard, just has I would be anywhere else. My great aunt and other family has been in military so I wanted to carry out this tradition. I can live without, it is simply a dream that I have half way held on to. I am 29, he is 32, kids are 6 and 8.

    Comment by lullaby572 (original poster) at 1:49 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • You won't get in with two kids and a husband that's 3 dependants. Look for something else :)

    Answer by funlovinlady at 1:49 AM on Feb. 10, 2013