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7 Bumps

Teen marriage

My 16 year old daughter wants me to give her consent to marry her bf. He is 17 they have been together for two years, I told her no that she is too young to marry I told her to wait until she is done with high school and then college and then I will support her fully in her decision. Thoughts? Opinions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Feb. 10, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (23)
  • You are right! Please do not give in!! At 17 they find their "true love" again, and again..and again! They have not even experienced life, and the wonderful things that will come their way. I have had friends who got married and regretted that they got married so soon, and had kids so soon..that they didn't get to expererience LIFE! Lord knows how much we had to go thru ourselves to get where we are today...and unless they both have wonderful jobs, their own cars, an apt. with furniture...they will be living with you or his parents for the next many years....
    madmueller

    Answer by madmueller at 10:18 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Well the only thing you can do is not consent to it tell her 18th birthday. After that she can do what she wants. Even if she didn't finish highschool.
    See I would not consent to it either. And I would inform her that if she decides to marry at 18. They better have a place of their own. Because you are not staying here.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:21 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Tell her if she waits till she graduates college and she still wants to marry this same boy, you will pay for half of her wedding. What are the real chances of them staying together? More then likely they will break up when he lives high schools and she still has another year to go.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:55 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • My dd married right out of high school, I wish she would have waited. I would never consent to an underage marriage.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 10:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I'd say that has a 99% failure rate
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:20 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • No I wouldn't consent to that. I know there's only so much you can do but I still wouldn't sign the papers.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I would NOT consent to that. In fact I would be a little concerned about why she *wants* to get married at that age. I would be worried about whether there was a pregnancy involved or planned... I would be concerned there was some sort of ultimatum involved...

    If it was me I would encourage my DD to think about married life. I would tell her that if she wants to get married she needs a good solid plan. I would ask her and BF to write down the plan and a budget separate and then compare them. Where will they live because if she is married she is no longer living in my home...? How will they work and do school? What about birth control? Making enough to pay rent and buy food? Attending college? Car and care insurance payments? Help her make out a budget and a 'life goals' plan. Help them realize on their own that this is not the best time.

    How does the boys family feel about it? Have you spoken with them?
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:32 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I got married at 18 (my husband still had his senior year of high school left when we got married), but I wouldn't sign off on a marriage before 18. If she's so in love that she is sure it will last, she can wait until she can legally get married. That way it is her choice alone.
    It doesn't always end badly. My husband and I have been married 15 years now. Only time is going to tell if this is the right choice for her. Having been there, my best advice for her would be to wait a long time before having children.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I would never consent to an underage marriage (even with a pregnancy involved).
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 12:28 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I think you need to remind her that she'll need finances to pay for her home and bills once she's married because when you get married you move out of your parents' home. Does either of them work at all? How much savings does she have? Sit down and show her the budget and the bills for your home and ask her how she's going to manage to deal with that.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 10:49 AM on Feb. 10, 2013

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