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Her choice to take a shower

Do I force my 9 yr old to take a shower or do I let her wallow in her own stink?

She is old enough to take a shower by herself and I get tired of arguing about it. She is home schooled so its not like she goes out very much but when we do I make sure that her hair is brushed and stuff I won't let her visibly go nasty. I just braided her hair and showed her the mound that came out on the brush hoping that its enough to say "this is what happens when you don't wash or take care of your hair" she said " I'll take a shower next time

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Asked by wifey000175554 at 3:22 PM on Feb. 10, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 15 (1,898 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • For now, this isn't a choice. You make her do it no matter how unhappy it makes her. My 11 yo dd is just now coming around on this and doesn't hate it anymore. I "make" her take a shower every other day (and days where she is very active, sweaty or otherwise dirty), then she has a choice on the off days, now she is starting to take a shower almost every day. Just build it into your schedule and stick to it. If you are consistent about it, she will soon stop fighting it and just accept it.

    Answer by missanc at 3:38 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • My kids don't have a choice. When I say shower, they shower. 11, 9, & 7 yo girls, 5yo boy. They don't get a choice in that yet.

    Answer by idareyou at 3:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • you make her

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:52 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • I agree that you need to make your daughter shower, but I wouldn't argue about it. Just say that nothing else will happen till she showers, so she can sit on the couch or at the table till she's ready Howeer, I would also try to figure out why she's so set against showering. Maybe the scent of the shampoo bothers her? Maybe her hair is long and hard for her to wash by herself? Maybe someone has flushed the toilet a few too many times and surprised her with ice cold or scalding hot water? Maybe she'd rather shower at night, or in the morning? Have a non-arguing conversation with her about the problem and see what she says.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:00 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • My kids are 12, 10, 6 & 4 and they are in a routine, after school they put their things away, do homework then shower, then dinner, brush their teeth, then free time then bed. I usually don't have to tell or ask them, they know what to do.

    Answer by txnmomof4 at 4:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • This is not a choice of which game she wants to play. This is basic cleanliness. It is your job to teach her.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:22 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • Your kidding right? I forced my kids to shower and wash their hair. If they did not do it, I would clean them myself. Why are you giving her a choice?


    Answer by louise2 at 4:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • since shes homeschooled she isnt going to get that peer pressure lesson of "you stink!" that makes her want to shower. do a lesson on hygiene to teach her why she needs to shower. then make her or else nothing else happens for her.

    Answer by okmanders at 5:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • You force her.

    Answer by mompam at 7:47 PM on Feb. 10, 2013

  • You should make her take one at least every other day. If she hasnt hit puberty and doesn't go out much I think she can still get away withevery other day, but yes you should force her.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

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