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4 Bumps

How should we approach this?

Recently my 14 year old son was punched in the stomach (pretty hard) by a girl (there were witnesses). His father and I have always told him that unless a female is coming at him with some sort of weapon and is trying to hurt him, he is to walk away. Other than that, there is never an acceptable reason to hit a girl. However, how is he supposed to feel when she hit him first? If she would have slapped him in the face, should we still insist that he walk away? We have explained to and talked to him about dating and domestic violence and that it can be on both parts, but I don't want him to be bullied by this girl either. I know this might sound like a stupid question, but I am simply looking for advice. No bashing please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Feb. 10, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • No bashing from me, my ds had a female bully. I kept telling him not o hit her back, well she stabbed him with a pencil that was the end f that, I told hi if she touches you again lay her out.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 12:00 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • I don't want him to get a bad reputation either way. By being called a punk for letting a girl hit on him or as the bully himself for defending himself and hitting the girl back.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:04 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • did this happen at school? if so address it there and then tell him, she hits you again and there are witnessed you knock her on her ass
    he doesnt have to hit to do that just push her ass down. If that doesnt sto it then I he can hit. Funlovin is right if it continues he needs to defend himself.

    no boy should hit a girl first but no girl has the right to hit a boy either.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:05 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • He has two younger sisters and is very over protective of them.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:07 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • he should be protective of them
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:09 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • No, this happened at the skating rink. And I agree that neither has the right to hit the other, but explaining that to him is proving to be rather difficult when he was the one who was hit first.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • He is very protective of them and that's why I think it is hard for him to grasp that his sisters don't deserve to be hit by boys so why should he hit this girl back, but at the same time, he knows that she should not have hit him first either.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Were the staff at the skating rink alerted? Did any adults see what happened? I'm sure your son doesn't want to be a snitch, but it sounds like this girl is starting to get out of hand. I agree with the others, and especially if she's on skates, your son would be within his rights to give her a push and knock her on her ass. If the police get involved, boy or girl won't make any difference; it's all about who swings first.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:14 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Yes, they are aware and they are going to review the video tape. As far as we know, another girl (his friend) told the staff that she saw the other girl hit my son first.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:22 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • If he doesn't want to hit this girl, I wouldn't encourage him to even in self defense (unless she's got a weapon). I think his friend did the right thing alerting the rink staff. I do think if she came at him again (esp. on skates ) he should push her away...HARD! By 14 no one should be hitting anyone.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 1:55 AM on Feb. 11, 2013

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