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My 3 month old is spoil...

I'm trying to get my 3 month old off me. She wants to be carryed at all times and cries when I put her down. I heard that I could let her cry a little before attending to her so she starts getting use the fact that she can't always be carry. But for how long should I let her cry before picking her up or should I let her cry at all??? Please help!!!


Asked by GodPRKitty at 6:03 PM on Feb. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (73)
  • Umm babies cry. It's what they do. It's how the deal with emotions. It's okay to let her cry because she's a baby, and babies cry!! I'm not saying leave her there to suffer and scream her head off but put her down, walk away for a minute, come back, talk to her, give her kisses, walk away again, etc. etc. I wouldn't go maybe more than 3-5 minutes at a time at first. She will get used to it! They're not like that forever. It just takes some getting used to for both you and her!

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 6:56 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • This is just my opinion but I live by the phrase "It's impossible to spoil an infant" meaning you need to do whatever it takes to care for them and at this age it is not spoiling. I do not believe at 3 months you should let them cry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • itsok to let her cry just make sure she's not hungry or anything like that. my 2 mth old is kinda the same way. i let him cry in the swing one day and he fell asleep on his own. You'll be fine, just do what you feel is best

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 6:15 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Everything that I have read and heard said it was impossible to spoil a baby under 6 months! I had a really clingy, needy baby as well. It is exhausting, but trust me it gets a lot better! Just try to hang in there. And try not to let her cry too long. Good luck!

    Answer by hilary1122 at 6:16 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • No, it's NOT okay to let her cry. Even Ferber does not advocate letting infants under 6 months cry.

    Why is your baby wanting to be with you a problem? What do you expect them to do? She's been in this world for THREE MONTHS, she doesn't even know who she is much less that she should be independent.

    I swear I don't understand why people have kids if they just want them to do everything on their own.

    Have a heart.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 6:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • A new ABC report stated that Richard Ferber - a long time advocate of the 'Cry it out' method - is offering alternate advice to parents in his new book. For 20 years, Ferber has encourage parents to leave babies alone in their beds for as long as 45 minutes without any parental comfort. In a revised version of his book 'Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems' Ferber is finally offering parents some other options.

    Other baby gurus like Dr. Sears - who endorses products like the Amby Baby Motion Bed as an alternative - have long advocated against Ferber's methods.
    According to Dr. Sears' website:

    "Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won't form connections to other nerves ...

    Answer by Arkaidy at 6:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • ...and will degenerate."

    "One study (at Harvard) showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies."

    Answer by Arkaidy at 6:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Have you considered buying a sling?? Those are great for holding baby and not kill your arms/back.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 6:19 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • For the first six months its also the in-arms phase. Babies need constant attachment to you - a sling is helpful.

    My son slept on me, my boyfriend, my dad, my siblings..he was never really put down and if he was he was always a foto a way.

    Unlike nearly every other animal on the planet..our species does not have a mechanism to ward off predators - e.g. baby snakes how a really powerful venom to fend of preadtors etc. We do NOT. So when you leave a baby alone they have the REAL FEAR of being eaten or something happening to them. You might know that your baby is safe but they do not.

    Don't let her cry..she needs you. I don't understand how anyone could listen to that anyway? And you can't spoil a child. My son is 14 months now and not clingy whatsoever - hes pretty independent and loves wandring off really far without me..quite scarey lol.

    Answer by keyaziz at 6:23 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I'm not advocating cry-it-out, but at 3 months, she can be put down for a few minutes if you need to do something. I wouldn't leave her for more then 2-3 minutes.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2009