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3 Bumps

38 year old step daughter wants to move in

My husband and I have been together about 16 years. Initially his daughter rejected my but things have since improved. This daughter was given a private school college education, semester abroad and a $70,000 inheritance which she has spent. She is now finishing a masters in social work and wants to move in with us to relocate. My 30 year old daughter and 8 yr old grandson have lived with us for 6 years and are finally leaving. While living with us she put herself through school and now has a good job and is moving to a house of her own. My step daughter really wants a daddy and he has always given her what she wanted. She is in the process of divorcing her husband. I just want to be alone with my husband before I die.

 
Thegeish

Asked by Thegeish at 1:33 PM on Feb. 11, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Let her live there. She is family.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:45 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • So your adult daughter can live with you for six years and when his adult daughter needs family support, she is not welcome. That's not right. Welcome her with open arms like you should.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:41 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • If your daughter lived there for 6 years, surely you can take in his daughter now. Make sure there are rules in place, things like her taking care of her own stuff and cooking for herself unless someone else is cooking for everyone. She doesn't get to freeload and do nothing, but you should still help her out.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 1:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • First, maybe she snuggled because she only sees her dad once a year?
    Second, she was a GUEST then, I cook & clean for guests too.

    Make it known that she won't be a guest & will be responsible for her own stuff.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 1:48 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Okay, people aren't gonna like that you let your kid live there SIX friggin years and now you don't want his bio child in the house. Her blowing her money is between her and her father. Clearly you don't like her and she doesn't like you.

    Set rules with your dh and with her and stick to them like glue. I'm not suggesting she isn't a pain in the butt but your kid had some baggage and your dh let her stay.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:56 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Then make rules. You're telling me not once you didn't cook for YOUR daughter and grandson?
    I agree, sounds like you're playing favorites. Do a trial. Ste rules, if sh doesnt follow them kick her out.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • wow here we go with the step mom crap agian if you want to be alone get yourself an apartment. How is it right for you to let YOUR grwon child live there but not his.

    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 2:00 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • I would let her move in, but set rules & boundaries. You let your daughter stay for 6 YEARS.
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 3:43 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • She's divorcing & needs to relocate so, honestly I'd let her move in. After all, your adult DD lived with you two for 6 yrs. So, shouldn't she be able to? It'll be obvious that you're playing favorites if you say no. Just let it be known that it can't be for longer than a normal relocation period.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 1:37 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • . Every night she would snuggle up against her dad between us .

    And how did you responds to this?
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 1:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2013