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3 Bumps

Thinking "friend" is acting kind of shady....

I'm a bartender. This chick Liz & her hubby Jim come up to the bar, & I got to know them & introduced them to dh. We all started hanging out a lot, over the past few mos. But every time we'd go to another bar her ex bf would be there, and she'd leave her hubby & talk to the ex, or have drinks w/ him. She'd text me occasionally, to see what we were up to for the wknd, & vice versa. Then she texted and asked if the phone # on their bill was my hubby's. Which it was.

Liz texted me a couple wks ago saying her marriage was on the rocks, and asking if I could have dh text her hubby because he prob. needed a friend to talk to. Which hubby did. We hung out w/ them that wknd & things seemed fine.

My hubby is an otr truck driver, and he calls me every night. About 2 wks ago, he called asking if Liz had called me. She hadn't. He said that she had texted him the night before @ 1am, asking if he & I would still be her friend & hang out w/ her because Jim wanted a divorce, and she was so upset, loved him so much, and didn't understand why he didn't want to be w/ her. (They have only been married 2 yrs. Together 7) She wanted dh to call him & talk him out of the divorce.

Dh told her he was pulled over in W. Memphis, because there was a really bad storm going on, & she should call me in the morning, because he & I had been through something similar a few yrs ago, and I'd understand what she was going through, & could maybe help her out. I had already been telling her, that I was here if she ever needed to talk or whatever. But she continued to text him that night, going on & on about how hurt she was, etc. until hubby just stopped texting her back.

The next day I worked & she came up w/ her cousin, (who is a reg. @ my bar) She only talked to me, when her cousin went out to smoke, or went to the bathroom. I told her I was sorry she was going through this, & I was here if she needed me. That I'd been in the same position & understood what she was going through. Then the weather came on the bar tv, showing that there had been tornado warnings, and bad storms in W. Memphis the night before. She looked at me & said, "Yeah, I was up late last night, and saw all the bad weather down south, & I was hoping that your husband wasn't in that area, caught up in that weather...."

Liz never mentioned that she had texted my hubby, or anything. Since that night she texted me once asking if dh & I were going out. She's texted my hubby a few times since then, but never on the wknds when he's home... He stopped responding to her texts though.

I feel like she's being kind of shady. Why would she only text hubby when he's out during the week, late at night, while he's away? And why wouldn't she tell me that she texted him, if she was only trying to get him to help her out w/ getting her hubby not to divorce her? Why would she all of a sudden stop texting me, & only text him? I understand she's hurting right now, but it just seems wrong to me.....

Answer Question

Asked by HappyEndings at 5:07 PM on Feb. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,438 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • Weird.

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:10 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Your husband needs to ask her to stop texting her

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:11 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • HIM not her

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:11 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Nope this is indeed shady. She's not a friend. She's trying to poach your dh. Stay away.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • There are alot of women who just don't do things "normal"......

    I am thinking it is an insecure, harmless thing and she is seeking a mans' opinion. None the less, get it out in the open, let her know the truth, ask her why she is texting your man and not talking to you.... just be casual about it and go from there. Hugs !!

    Answer by LeJane at 5:19 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Thanks, I was feeling the same, but was hoping that I wasn't reading too much into it....

    Comment by HappyEndings (original poster) at 5:24 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • I'm sorry... but I can't take you seriously with a screen name like that... sounds like a series of cheesy porn flicks!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 5:28 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Since she hasn't bothered to text me, I figure that I'll wait & see if she continues to text hubby, & if so, I'll talk to her about it. Pointless to stir something up & make things akward if she stops, I guess....

    Comment by HappyEndings (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • when any marriage is "on the rocks", the only reason someone would give another sex (your husband) attention is because they want some sort of acceptance and possibly she finds your husband attractive. When your husband gives in to her texts, she thinks he has some attractiveness for her.

    Its kind of "on the bounds" kind of phase that she's on. Not that she expects him to leave you for her but she just needs attention and she picked your husband so its best and wise your husband has stopped texting.

    Answer by lovekitchenmama at 5:29 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Sounds to me like she is trying to get with your DH. Need to nip that in the bud.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:37 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

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