Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it really THAT common for a child to not be potty trained by 4?

I have never heard of this except in kids with delays until tonight.

Maybe it is because here you HAVE to be potty trained or have an IEP to start K4 and going to school is a motivator?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (25)
  • My son was 4 when he finally potty trained. We started him when he was 2, but he just wasn't ready. He also had two setbacks that made him regress too.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:34 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • I honestly think it is a little late to be potty training at that age. My mom was giving me a hard time when my DD was 18 mos to train. In the days where they used cloth diapers, kids were trained earlier. I tried at 18 mos and my DD held it for 5 hours. I put a diaper on her and she peed. That right then was her telling me that she was stubborn and going to do it on her own terms. She was trained just before her 2nd birthday....then regressed b/c we moved. I honestly think that if you push them a little it will help, but don't push to hard or they will fight you. You have to find the middle ground with your child.

    Answer by coala at 12:02 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My daughter was three and a half, and getting to go to preschool was a big motivator for her because I refused to send her and pay the extra money for her to be in the class where diapering was still available. People had been riding my ass for a year or more, wondering why she wasn't trained. But I learned from way early on with her that if I pushed her too hard, forget it. We'd have a battle of wills, and I'd lose every time. If I let her do things when she was damn well good and ready, life went much more smoothly for everybody. When she was finally ready, it took ten days in pull-ups, and since then , she's had only a handful of accidents, mainly when she couldn't get to the bathroom quickly enough because we were out in public and had to find one.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:02 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My son was fully trained about 3 months before his 4th birthday and about 4 months before starting preschool which required he be. That was our biggest motivation though we'd introduced the potty right around his 2nd birthday. Nobody has ever given me grief about his age.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 1:45 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I know OP here is commenting on my question about my dd being 4 and not fully potty trained. She is a VERY willful child. She knows when she poops, and she want another pull up. But she is not delayed, and all this is very frustrating to me, and the people I know that is riding my ass about her not being trained, and believe me, the thought of her being in pre-school is a fucking GIANT motivator in getting her trained. A few hours to myself is enough to bring tears of bliss to my eyes!!! But like the other mom's her, and what I have learned through trial and a whole lot of errors on my part, she will go when she goes. She does have good days when she does everything on her own, and she has days and a few days more when she just is being stubborn. But I am gonna try the money reward!! Love you Crafty!!

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:22 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • my dd was 3 when she was fully pott trained. I started early and she was doing great but I was sidetracked andthen tried again and got side tracked and then the 3 rd time she was just stubborn and those pull ups were a waste of time. She just did it one day with anyone telling her and never looked back. she has had accident but what kid has not. They play and they don't go to the bathroom fast enogh. Anyways I think kids will potty train when they are ready. 4 I believe is a little late but who am I do judge it's not my kid, and I don't know them. as long as the child gets potty trained that is the most important part.

    Answer by lambdarose at 6:56 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • It is more common nowadays and I personally feel it is too old. I also feel that most of it has to do with being in daycare where they are not worked with to go like they are when staying at home with a parent (most the time). The only children without delays I know that were late to potty train were in daycare all day while the ones who had SAHP were fairly early.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I had one who was almost 4 before he was potty trained. I was a stay at home mom, and he knew what to do , he just didn't want to.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:35 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My DD was potty trained, but poop was another issue. I think she was just at the beginning of developing encopresis so that took a bit longer, but she was trained for both by 4.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:57 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • In my experience, NO. My 3 yr old, just had her first night last night w/out a pull-up. She'd been wearing them at bed time only (panties during the day) for 8 months. And, it was successful.

    Answer by 3libras at 10:12 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.