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Is it really THAT common for a child to not be potty trained by 4?

I have never heard of this except in kids with delays until tonight.

Maybe it is because here you HAVE to be potty trained or have an IEP to start K4 and going to school is a motivator?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (25)
  • both my kids were 4 or almost 4... no delays... from what I heard it was pretty common, at least with the people I know

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • The more effective pull ups are at absorbing all traces or moisture, the more common it becomes

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • my DD is a stubborn yeah she wasnt fully trained at 4. no delays, in fact she's one of the smartest kids in her pre-K class. sigh...operant conditioning did NOT work on her...

    Answer by okmanders at 11:29 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • My older two were both 4 y/o, & didn't have any delays. I encouraged them, but didn't push it, because I knew they'd go when they were ready. I'm now doing the p.t. thing w/ my third who is also 4, but hoping that maybe my 2 y/o will see him training & want to start earlier... I can hope can't I? A lot of pre-schools want them potty trained before they start. And all Kindergarden's that I know of want them fully trained... so 4 is pushing it a bit, but it is what it is.

    Answer by HappyEndings at 11:25 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • Like NP said, it's becoming more common. My oldest was potty trained about 3 or 4 months after his third birthday, and my youngest son was potty trained right around his third birthday. At the time, people criticized me that it wasn't sooner.
    People bitch no matter what. People bitch if your kid isn't trained at a year, and if they're trained at a year, people bitch that you must be lying.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:29 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • When they're old enough to shit themselves and TELL you, or take off the diaper and change it themselves, they're TOO OLD!
    There was a kid in my son's daycare that would crap his diaper, go ask for a clean one, and change himself.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:33 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • My son was 4 when he finally potty trained. We started him when he was 2, but he just wasn't ready. He also had two setbacks that made him regress too.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:34 PM on Feb. 11, 2013

  • I honestly think it is a little late to be potty training at that age. My mom was giving me a hard time when my DD was 18 mos to train. In the days where they used cloth diapers, kids were trained earlier. I tried at 18 mos and my DD held it for 5 hours. I put a diaper on her and she peed. That right then was her telling me that she was stubborn and going to do it on her own terms. She was trained just before her 2nd birthday....then regressed b/c we moved. I honestly think that if you push them a little it will help, but don't push to hard or they will fight you. You have to find the middle ground with your child.

    Answer by coala at 12:02 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My daughter was three and a half, and getting to go to preschool was a big motivator for her because I refused to send her and pay the extra money for her to be in the class where diapering was still available. People had been riding my ass for a year or more, wondering why she wasn't trained. But I learned from way early on with her that if I pushed her too hard, forget it. We'd have a battle of wills, and I'd lose every time. If I let her do things when she was damn well good and ready, life went much more smoothly for everybody. When she was finally ready, it took ten days in pull-ups, and since then , she's had only a handful of accidents, mainly when she couldn't get to the bathroom quickly enough because we were out in public and had to find one.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:02 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I know OP here is commenting on my question about my dd being 4 and not fully potty trained. She is a VERY willful child. She knows when she poops, and she want another pull up. But she is not delayed, and all this is very frustrating to me, and the people I know that is riding my ass about her not being trained, and believe me, the thought of her being in pre-school is a fucking GIANT motivator in getting her trained. A few hours to myself is enough to bring tears of bliss to my eyes!!! But like the other mom's her, and what I have learned through trial and a whole lot of errors on my part, she will go when she goes. She does have good days when she does everything on her own, and she has days and a few days more when she just is being stubborn. But I am gonna try the money reward!! Love you Crafty!!

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:22 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

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