Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

am i too picky or is this guy a cheap selfish guy? Or am i a jerk?

at the beginning, after we ran out of stuff to do, i said, we could go to the movies. he says 'that gets expensive". he stops for gas while driving my car he put out his hand for my credit card. Id fill his tank as a nice gestrue knowing it would be returned. we both make the same and a good living- have savings. he borrowed his neighbors chain saw, used it for days, it burned out. he didnt replace it. On my birthday, 6 months into dating, he took me to lunch (when he knows i like dinner and later that day called to say, what do you want to do. I said, well i don't want to tell you what to do but i'd like to go to dinner. he said we just eat. we went to dinner and he gave me a card. he talked about getting me a gift. 5 days later no gift so i dumped.. he showed up with a gift. he is sweat in a lot of ways. hes 50 im 40. i worry im nuts and too demanding. but I think a guy should want to do the best for me. am i nuts?

Answer Question
 
stjsph

Asked by stjsph at 11:11 AM on Feb. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • First... you should both be responsible for filling your own car's gas tank. It's nice to offer to pay, but it shouldn't be necessary. I think being picky over lunch vs dinner is just too much. It's the thought that counts, he took you for a meal, the appropriate response is to say thank you. I don't even let my children be rude over not receiving gifts, so I think that was inappropriate as well. You sound selfish.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:15 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I agree, its your car, you pay for the gas. I would never expect sometime I was dating to fill my car. I agree I think you're being veruy selfish expecting a gift. I am an adult and I dont expect gifts anymore.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:19 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • It sounds like it's a combination of both. Sorry.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:23 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • No no no he is definitely ajerk.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:24 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Ugh - he sounds like my ex. Never offered to pay & would only take me to places where he had a coupon. One day when I was 8 months pregnant, we went to Arby's & I wanted fries with my roast beef sandwich. He said no, because the coupon said sandwich only. I bought my own damn fries.

    I would dump him in a heartbeat.
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 11:26 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • your car- you pay gas
    he took you to lunch and yet you still wanted to go to dinner? AND he took you and you want to know if he is a jerk?
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:30 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Depends on why he was driving your car and not his own! If he was driving your car for something you planned, then you pay for the gas, but if he was driving your car because he doesn't have a decent car, then maybe he should pay for gas.

    As for the other things, he sounds like a jerk. He borrowed the neighbors chainsaw, didn't replace it? Rude. No birthday gift? Why is he so broke at 50?
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:33 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • You're a jerk
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:34 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • You kind of sound like you're the selfish and materialistic one. Granted not replacing the chain saw wasn't right however he may have told the neighbor who told him not to worry about it. Or he may just be cheap, but it doesn't change that you're far too materialistic
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:52 AM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Not just a jerk, he's a cheap jerk.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:02 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.