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How do I correct DS sleep issues?

I am at my wit's end. DS slept all night on his own until he was 2 1/2. I just put him in his crib while he was still awake and he would go to sleep. My dad passed away suddenly and our lives were turned upside down. DS started getting up saying he was scared. We tried night lights, flash lights, monster spray etc. He would beg me to lay down with him while I read his books. Things are out of control now. Most nights I end up falling asleep in his room or the nights I don't fall asleep he gets up and pitches a fit until I go back to his room with him. I am exhausted and this is causing a huge strain on my relationship with DH. DH can't handle the crying for very long before he gets angry. How do I appease both of them? I know DS needs to sleep in his bed and I need to sleep in mine. Please any advice would be appreciated.

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Asked by Carol_H79 at 1:33 PM on Feb. 12, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Well, your husband needs to get over his anger at the crying, first of all. That's not going to help anyone.

    This is a hard one. It sounds like maybe part of it is a kind of separation anxiety. You mention this started when your dad passed away suddenly (sorry for that loss), so maybe your son is kind of freaking out that you might suddenly be gone, too. Is he only like this for sleep? Or does he not want you to leave him alone during the day as well? And when/how did your dad pass away? If he passed in his sleep, then I would guess that's what this is about. Maybe you could talk with a therapist? He's only 2.5, so he can't do it but maybe you can explain what happened and the therapist could give you tips on how to deal with it.

    There might also come a point where you'll simply have to be tough on him, and leave him to go to sleep on his own while you go to your bed.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:38 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Go to the library and get some books on grieving to learn what you can do, or as wendy suggested, get some ideas from a counselor. Young children cannot vocalize what their fears are. (Have your husband read the books too)

    Answer by silverthreads at 6:59 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My dad committed suicide. DS is usually ok when I drop him off at daycare. He is kinda mean to his DF. He prefers me or my mom.

    Last night I was kinda tough on him. I sat in his bed while I read to him, then sat on the floor facing away from him, not giving him any attention, until he fell asleep. I tried explaining to him several times that I was supposed to sleep in my bed with DH and that he should sleep in his room. He did come get in our bed during the night but normally I would have gone to his room to comfort him. So I guess its an improvement?

    Comment by Carol_H79 (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Sitting on floor nearby and facing away is a god technique. He knows you are close and he needs to sleep. I have seen it used on Supernanny too. It will take time but you will all get through this. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 2:05 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

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