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Wwyd if you found this out?

so my little brother(17) came home yesterday with a girl(16) my parents dont approve of, he told them that shes pregnant and that they have been dating for over a year already, my dad and brother got into a fist fight over it and my brother left

so my question is, how would you react if your 17 year old came home with a girl that youve never seen and they tell you shes pregnant

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Feb. 12, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Answers (23)
  • I would seek group support.
    kujus04

    Answer by kujus04 at 3:36 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I would freak. I would get the girls phone number and address. And go talk to her parents about it. Hope they do not think I am going to help financially either. My son would be getting a part time job. The parents of the girl would be doing the waiting game for a DNA test. Then they would have to bring my son to court. For child support. Sense the son is 17 hopefully he would be 18 by the time the child is born, DNA is done and court is going on. they could not get any money off of me. Only my son. I heard if the boy is a minor. the parents would have to pay CS tell her turned 18, in some states.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:36 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I don't have any boys, just girls. If my daughter told me she was pregnant, I would hug her and tell her everything is going to be ok and that being a young mother does not make her a bad mother. Your brother and his gf won't be young forever, they need support and love to be able to parent well.
    vampporcupine

    Answer by vampporcupine at 3:37 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Happened at 19 here actually and I wasextreemly disappointed. They said they were getting married and I counseled them to take a little time to think on this on question. If you were not having a baby, would you still be getting married right now?
    Of course the both were dead set on marriage. The JP wedding was 3 days later. We supporrted them and allowed them to live with us
    In the end they divorced and I became primary guardian.
    Everyone reacts differently.

    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:00 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • In light of the situation I would try to be as supportive as possible. I would want to meet the girl's parents to discuss the situation with the expectant parents and go from there. You can't control what other people do and despite how angry my kids may end up making me, they are still my kids and I love them unconditionally. I would be disappointed because anyone that has kids knows how much attention and nurturing they need, which will only make finishing school and the possibility of going to college more difficult. Regardless, it would definitely be time for some tough love.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:11 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I could see kids this age scared to tell parents about the pregnancy and lying about dating for a year to make the pregnancy easier to accept rather than a pregnancy soon after them meeting. Who knows? Why were they allowed to have sex, where were they having sex? I hope he is ready to start contributing if he isn't already! I'd give them both a dose of reality and scare the crap out of them, and in the end try to be supportive. I'm a pretty reactive person and in the heat of the moment, I'm sure that would be hard to take in.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 4:49 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • HHx5 It really does not take that much time for two kids to have sex, after a game, when they are supposed to be at a dance, friend's house, the library. I agree the relationship may not be as long as a year but just said to make it seem less "bad" I also agree that a DNA test would be required unless they insisted on getting married. Then you can only hope he is not being taken in and is stupidly trusting.
    As far as support (financial) is concerned, I believe that once you get pregnantyou are technically emancipated. In my case this was still my son and this woman was carrying my grandchild.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Absolutely, Dardenella. We can expect certain things from our kids and in the end they make their choices. I'd still ask why and when because like I said, that's me, I'm a very reactive person. God only knows what's in store for my boys when they become teenagers. We do the best with what we have and what we know. I was a single parent for a time which is why this situation would provoke such a strong reaction from me and I was grown and had been on my own for some time. Even as young as my boys are I bet they remember how hard that was for us. I hope they remember that when they are faced with their own choices.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 12:00 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • i would just want to know that her parents were paying the other half of the abortion. no joke. i would be so upset that i would have to deal with some skank for a lifetime. my son better not. i cannot imagine how angry i would be at him. so angry. i would really push for abortion because that is too young to be a GOOD parent (barring the Rare exceptions - yes i know you exist but you have to admit Most parents who are 16/17 arent ready at all.)
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:40 PM on Feb. 15, 2013

  • I can say with absolute certainty that there would be no fist fights.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:26 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

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