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5 Bumps

Am I wrong for getting upset of the fact that my husband didn't consult with me about keeping his son for a week while his ex goes on vacation?

She always makes plans to go out or go out of town on vacation when its her weekend to have her son. We pay her almost 600 a month of child support and it seems that we have him 20 days out of the month plus holidays. My husband doesn't feel that its necessary for him to consult with me about keepin his son when it is not our days to keep him. If he wants to keep him than he is going to keep him. HOwever, I have to be the one to run around back and forth to drop him off and pick him up from school, while he works. I never bother my husband to run around with my boys. I make sure I take care my responsibilites. I've had this problem so many times in the past three years of marriage. I can't deal with this anymore. He makes me feel that I come last in this relationship. My opinion or how I feel doesn't matter.

Answer Question

Asked by marriageishard at 4:18 PM on Feb. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I think he should let you know when his son is coming over, but he shouldn't need your permission to have his son over.
    If you have him that much start documenting and have husband take her to court for full custody then. Prove you have him pretty much the entire time.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:20 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • He's right he shouldn't have to consult you to keep his son (even on days that aren't his) and YOU shouldn't be treating it as a "His kids my kids" situation either. You're married so ALL the kids (his and yours) are BOTH of YOUR's Kids. Stop treating your step son as an outcast and be a decent mother to ALL the kids. When you married the man did you expect him to just ignore his own kids and pretend like yours are the only ones that matter? Get the hell over yourself

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 4:22 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Oh and BTW

    welcome to cafemom


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Ok, now that you've ranted, put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if you had to ask someone else's permission to have your own children stay at your house? You would say "no way in hell!", right? Well, that's exactly what he's saying. I'm sure you were aware of this situation before you got married, so it shouldn't be a surprise. And to say that you take care of your responsibilities (while implying he doesn't) is just bitchy. True, he may not be the one driving him around, but he is working to earn money to support his family. The one he has with you AND the one he made before. He IS being responsible. You are just being whiny and selfish.

    Answer by hootie826 at 4:52 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • What are you going to do? Say "No, you can't have your son stay with us?" What a lame attitude.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 4:52 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Yes, you are wrong.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 5:00 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • oh yeah another Step Mom Of The Year nominee!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 5:03 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • If you do not want to do it any more. "Baby sit his kid." Just tell him. He will only come over when you can be here. In details tell him.  You are tired of picking him up, droping him off. Baby sitting him. Bring up the fact he does nothing for your kids.

    I understand,  I was so happy when I found out my DH did not have kids with some one else. I did that with my EX and hated it.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:15 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • You are wrong on so many levels.

    Answer by DJDNY at 5:48 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Thank you for your honest responses. I guess I should've been more specific in my situation. However, I respect the honesty. I only referred my step son as his, because he always throws that at my face. My baby is 15 years old. My two oldest are gone. I am the one that supports the family, he works part time just enough to pay for his child support and car payment. Everything else I take care. I don't have and have never had a problem with keeping my step son, its the fact that she (his mom) has no respect or consideration for our time. I'm not trying to prevent my husband from seeing his son, that is not the case at all. I've been in this child's life since he was 2. All I'm asking for is some type of consideration for my role in this relationship. It's always about my husbands needs. Thank you ladies, be blessed!

    Comment by marriageishard (original poster) at 5:59 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

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