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2 Bumps

If you trust him, does it really matter if....

your man is still talking to one of his exes? I think that it really is about whether you completely trust your guy and if you don't, why are you with him??

I'm just about divorced (been separated 2+ yrs) and will be talking with my ex for the rest of my life (because of our kids AND we were together for 25 yrs). A guy I was dating was amicable with his ex and I didn't have a problem with it. That guy and I aren't seeing each other anymore, but we're still friendly and hope to remain so. What's the big deal????

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KPBMom

Asked by KPBMom at 7:52 PM on Feb. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,787 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • if there's no kids,there's no need
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:54 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I guess I would want to know the reasoning behind him needed to talk to an ex. If they have kids that's one thing. If they are simple amicable that's one thing. If they still have lengthy, frequent conversations and go out on "dates"....why?
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 7:55 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • If they share children I understand but if not than why should they still talk
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:56 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • I don't understand the big deal. If you and your man trust each other, it shouldn't make a difference if you and him are talking to ex's or not. If you are making regular trips down memory lane with your ex, that could be a problem. But what's wrong with being friends with an ex? I still talk to a couple of my ex's and so does my current SO. Neither of us have a problem with it because we trust each other and respect each other. I have told my SO that if he wants to get back together with his ex, to let me know before he does and I will step out of the way. He has told me the same thing. Trust and respect go a long way.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:03 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • It's not a big deal.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:06 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Well IMO as soon as the kids are adults. Their is not to many reason to talk to the ex.
    And truthfully if you have no kids together. You sould not be talking. That is just me though.
    But it all depends on the person you get with afterwards. if they can deal with it. So be it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:10 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • It depends on the circumstances. I have an ex that I've known for 15 years, and we still talk. We are just friends, nothing more. We don't share children, but we are just really good friends. And if you have kids together, obviously you do have to talk to each other - but even then you can cross a line. So it really all depends on the situation.

    I will say that if you have a problem with him talking to his ex, that (to me) means that you don't really trust him.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:34 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • My stbx had a long time gf before we met. They had broken up in Nov and we met in March. They were still friendly and I had to decide whether I was going to be the bitchy new gf who stomped her foot and wouldn't "let" her new guy talk to her. I tried to take the high road and suggested that we all go out for a drink. She and I ended up chatting like we'd known each other forever and to this day I consider her a good friend.

    Here's my real point: if your guy liked her enough to date for a while, but something other than cheating broke them up, wouldn't it make sense that you would all get along?
    KPBMom

    Comment by KPBMom (original poster) at 8:38 PM on Feb. 12, 2013

  • Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal at all. My boyfriend and I both still talk to our exes, and each other's exes now and then. But I'm kind of looked at by a lot of CM moms as weird for my views on the subject.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:31 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • That little green monster. If it makes one of you uncomforable give it up because he should be the first person to make happy not you. Sad to say but this is where we all fall 1) we are mothers. 2) we are wives or s/o 3) we are ourselves. Take care of the people in that order and you will have a happy healthy relationship.
    Im-HiDdEn

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 9:01 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

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