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Can someone atleast TRY to give me their input... I feel like its basically coming to an end

We barely talk anymore, and I tried to talk to him last night about some of the things that are going on with us and it seems like when its mid conversations he says yeah I know, I understand but the next day he is right back to the same thing. I really don't want to hear " do something nice for him" because I try to do everything possible to make things work for us but it doesnt help. And honestly I dont even feel like doing something nice for someone that just takes it for granted. What can I say to him to make him understand how I feel and to stop talking to me the way he does?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Feb. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • There has to be room for a compromise in a relationship. It seems as if you are trying,but he isnt. Let him know that you dont want things to go on the way they are,and if he cant make the effort(either by discussing with you and/or going to a counselor)you cant remain in the relationship. Life is too short to have to beg for someone to care enough about you to compromise.

    Answer by guardmp_MOM at 10:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Time to get a third party involved. Counseling. Go yourself if he won't go with you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:13 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • i cant even begin to tell you how similar this is to my story....and i wont begin. everyone else has told me to consider counseling......i dont want to and i have put getting anybody else involved for a year now but from what i can tell you...maybe counseling would be a good thing. im going to try it as a second to last resource. im sorry that thats all i can tell you. i hope that things get better for you even if they dont for me.

    Answer by rissalee at 10:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Im going through the same thing.... I really just feel like the relationship is over and all that is left is for me to let go and it's harder than I ever thought it would be!! He never talks to me and never wants to spend time with me all he cares about is work and drinking and me and the kids come last after EVERYTHING else!! My only thing is I need closer I need him to tell me he doesnt want me or love me anymore so I can feel confident about leaving and get on with life and I love him enough to want him to get on with his too!! I love him more than anything and totally would make him my entire world but im pretty sure the feeling is not mutual!! I promised myself I would not do anything for him for Valentines day if he did bring it up or make the effort to do something well he did nothing never even mentioned it and stupid a$$ me went and got him something!! O well I love him just wish I had his love in return good luck!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • When you try to talk to him about what's bothering you, are you doing it in a "naggin" way? *just curious* why not try and asking him flat out if he wants it to end. You never know what he might say. Of course there is the chance that he will say that he does, and you can't really do much about that unless he is willing to as well.

    Answer by MomCakes at 10:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • No, I used to nag at him alot but I learned that, that just didnt get me anywhere and I now just try to explain to him how I feel. I have asked him if he wants it to end and he says no that he loves me, but IMO you dont treat someone you love this way :(... Maybe I should attempt couseling on my own, considering i know there is no hope in hell that he would ever come with me... Thank you all who responded.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • For those who hesitate over counseling....some encouragement.

    I've been there. I didn't want to go to counseling and my husband absolutely WOULD NOT go. But I was coming to a point where either I got help or I'd have to kill myself over the stress from the hatred between my father and my husband, with me in the middle.

    I went alone...and I became a much stronger person because ot it. I'm not the same person I was before. It was well worth the time and tears.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • what does he do that bugs/hurts/annoys you?

    Answer by MomCakes at 10:25 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • if you love someone let them go if they were meant to be yours they will come back... Maybe give him his space try not talking about the negative and pamper yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • momcakes- He isnt home very much due to work, which is ok, but I would like a little bit of help on the weekends ya know. Maybe be able to sleep through the night for once. I try to explain to him that when he is away, he can sit from 5:00 pm until whenever he goes to sleep, and watch tv, or basically do whatever when he is at the hotel after work. He says but im working, which i dont agre with because, its not like i wake up at 7 and watch the baby and when 5 comes around my shift is over and i dont have to care for her anymore, its a 24 hour job, which i am sure all of you know... Its not so much him doing things for me to help out with her, but it would be nice if he would atleast OFFER. And yeah im sure i would say, yeah you can get the baby's bath ready and her clothes and i will bathe her and you can get her ready for bed...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Feb. 14, 2009