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3 Bumps

Most unusual excuses for arriving late to work

  • Employee dropped her purse into a coin-operated newspaper box and couldn't retrieve it without change -- which was in the purse.

  • Employee accidentally left the apartment with his roommate's girlfriend's shoes on and had to go back to change.

  • Employee's angry wife had frozen his truck keys in a glass of water in the freezer.

  • Employee got a late start because she was putting a raincoat on her concrete duck in her front yard, because rain was expected later that day.

  • Employee's car wouldn't start because the device measuring blood-alcohol level showed he was intoxicated.

  • Employee attempted to cut his own hair before work and the clippers stopped working, so he had to wait until the barber shop opened to fix his hair.

  • Employee's car was attacked by a bear. (Employee had photographic evidence.)

  • Employee drove to her previous employer by mistake.

  • Employee claimed to have delivered a stranger's baby on the side of the highway.


Feel free to add your own!  One at my work was

* was abducted by aliens and that is something you can't sleep off

 So yeah.... that guy is no longer working here.


Asked by LostSoul88 at 8:57 AM on Feb. 13, 2013 in Just for Fun

Level 40 (119,496 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • - I'm calling in sick with anal glaucoma; I can't see my ass going in to work today.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:50 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • sidesplittinglaughterLOL  maecntpntz219 I am definitely using that one! :p


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:32 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • I got caught in a funeral procession followed by a parade on Memorial Day. I felt like a dumbass. LOL

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:48 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • I like the too drunk to drive one.

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:30 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • True Story (Shel Silverstein)

    This morning I jumped on my horse and went out for a ride.
    Some wild outlaws chased me and they shot me in the side.
    So I crawled into a wildcat's cave to find a place to hide,
    But some pirates found me a'sleepin' there and soon they had me tied
    'Till a lady zombie cut me loose and begged to be my bride.
    So I said I'd come back Wednesday, but I must admit I lied,
    'Cause I run away into the swamp but I forgot my guide.
    And I stepped into some quicksand, and no matter how I tried,
    I couldn't get out 'till I met a crocodile named Clyde
    Who took me to some cannibals who planned to have me fried.
    They built a fire under me and I swear I almost cried
    'Till an eagle come and swooped me up and through the air we flied,
    But he dropped me in a boiling lake a thousand miles wide.
    And you know what happened then?
    I died.

    I always wanted to take

    Answer by Ballad at 12:12 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Oh these are good! I may have to book mark this to be able to use 1 of them sometime! lol :p I will get back to you if I can think of any to add.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:30 AM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Employee locked herself in the atrium of area of her front yard, keys were in the house, and she was stuck locked in the gated atrium until someone with keys could come and get her out!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:21 AM on Feb. 13, 2013