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2 Bumps do I handle this?

my 16 yr old son has aspergers. he also has social anxiety. his English teacher just called me with an odd situation. apparently my son kept walking up to her desk today, fidgeting with his hair, but not speaking. Then he would walk away,go back, and repeat. She asked if he had something to say and if it would be easier to write it down. he said he would be able to ask 'eventually'. So finally he asked, "will you be my valentine?". she is 34 btw.

the fidgety behavior isn't odd (for him) but the question threw us both for a loop. My poor baby. Neither of us want to make him feel rejected or awkward but we feel it should be addressed.

Any ideas on what to say to him and how so the situation doesn't get any stranger? i really don't want to hurt his feelings but I also feel his question isn't appropriate.

Answer Question

Asked by Tesserae at 2:42 PM on Feb. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,001 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Maybe explain to him a teacher/student relationship is not good

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Awww,that's sweet.
    Can you get it out of him what he means by it? Is he meaning GF/BF?
    I'm wondering how we'll deal with situation like this when my son gets a little older. His autism is quite pronounced,and social skills are not his forte.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:45 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • It could be that he just likes the teacher and wants to let her know, but isn't sure how. Could he explain to you what "be my Valentine" means to him?

    Answer by Ballad at 2:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • it is sweet, butterfly, and I don't want to hurt him or make him feel bad at all. he doesn't get out of school for another few hours so I haven't been able to ask him anything yet. i doubt he meant it romantically but who knows! my sweet baby, lol, he's so weird...
    he does see his therapist today after school so I think I will discuss it with her and see what she says.

    Comment by Tesserae (original poster) at 2:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Even though he has issues. He is a teen boy, you know what I mean. I would explain to him a nicely as possible that. Teachers can not be students valentines,  It is not appropriate.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • I think it depends on what he thinks that means. Ask him to explain what he thinks that means... gauge your answer from that!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:30 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • I think that is very sweet but also quite odd because she is so much older, yet he is younger and does not fully understand all that right now. I would sit him down and explain that and tell him to find a girl in his class other then the teacher to be his valentine.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:38 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

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