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CPS help?

So, backstory: some friends and my family moved in together about 4 months ago. Together, there are 4 adults, her previous marriage 8 yr old son, previous marriage 4 year old daughter, my 3 yr old son and their 7 mo old son. The ex husband, who I also know well (went to school with him) has been a royal turd since she remarried. He has said several times in email and in texts that he doesn't care about the kids, he just wants to make her life miserable, and frankly, he's doing a great job of it.
Ok, the situation: the ex got angry bc the 8yr old said he didn't want to go to his dads for the summer. The father has been blatantly lying to the 8 yr and he see's it, doesn't want to go and told his dad as much. Well, now the ex is apparently going to call CPS, using pictures of the house that this family moved out of last year and saying that it was disgusting and a wreck. My friend is crying and telling me that if CPS does come out, that I'LL be investigated as well. Is this true? And what can I do? Will there be any way to sue this man for defamation of character or something? I've got childhood issues with CPS and really don't want to go through this and sincerely don't want my child or their children or even them to go through it either. They are amazing parents, and I've been a witness to all of their residences, I know they aren't what he's claiming that they are. I'm having some serious anxiety right now and would really appreciate any advice.

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Asked by GavinsMommy0732 at 11:42 PM on Feb. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Its an threat. Tell him to bring it. Tell her to get proof of the move out date as well. He's trying to scare her. Neither one of you should be upset unless you have a reason to worry.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:46 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • CPS wont do anything if his claim is they live in a wreck of a house. A poor house does not equal poor parenting. It would have to be dangerous for a child beforr cps steps in. At worst, they go to the old address, see that they arent there any longer and drop it.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 11:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2013

  • Nimue930: they now live in the house and have been doing all sorts of updates to it, just to be told that they need to short sell it, since him and his new wife can't actually afford it. :D
    LostSoul98: at first, I was terrified, but I had some time to calm down, and I know that there is nothing to be afraid of, it's just my experiences as a child are giving me anxiety. I still don't like the thought of cps talking to my baby, bc I know the types of question they ask, and my 3 yr old is...dramatic, to say the least :)
    Thanks guys! :D

    Comment by GavinsMommy0732 (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • well tell them since this doesnt involve your children they have no business talking to your children.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:04 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Document *everything.* Any phone messages, write down date, time, and what was said, or save them on voice mail. Save any e-mails, download FB posts, or other contact from the asshole ex. If it turns out he has left a trail, which they usually do, and the parents are cleared of any trouble, the harassing perpetrator can be in trouble with the police. I know this for a fact because the niece of a friend of mine had an ex who was pulling the same shit, and he ended up arrested.

    I went through issues with CPS as a child, and was threatened with them once because someone had a personal issue with me, so I know the kind of anxiety this can create. But take a deep breath, and realize the best thing your friends can do is cooperate, and document every single thing.

    And LostSoul is right. If this doesn't involve your kids, CPS has no need, and no right, to talk to them, and certainly not alone.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:23 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • This hasn't happened yet? It is just a threat then.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:49 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • What they will do if they are called is they will come in and look throughout the home and interview the kids one by one and then the parents. THey wil make sure that they have a safe and healthy home life and that they are going to school on a regular basis. If all of it adds up it will just make the dad look like an ass and yah it will be hard but it will all work out just try and relax.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:25 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • If there is nothing going on the investigation will show that. Right now it's just a threat, but I would have saved every one of those e-mails as evidence that he doesn't want visitation. They will investigate your home since that is where these children live, but they should not be questioning your children. It will be an inconvenience, but that should be all.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:32 AM on Feb. 14, 2013

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