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What to do about my 5yr olds behavior?

I'm a mother of 3 with 1 on the way. Recently my fiance and I have come to be at our wits ends with my 5yr old daughter. My fiance is the biological father of my youngest and my child on the way. He loves my older daughters very much as if they were his own. He treats them no different from his other kids, and even wants to officially adopt them. They call him daddy (by their own choice nothing forced) and always long to be around him. My oldest daughter (who is 6) has started school and now my youngest is starting to complain about starting herself, but wont be able to till next yr. Her behavior has been very intolerable. She's burned her brothers hand with the iron (went to the closet and got it out while he was napping) ( I was in the shower)., has called the cops on me and sd that I was in the hospital she needs someone to come and get her (again I was in the shower), she doesn't listen , she hits on both her siblings at random times, makes smart comments about not wanting to be here or wanting someone else to be her daddy. My fiance and I are starting to have problems with our relationship. We've tried every discipline we could think of, but it's like she's determined to break us or something. Also I've noticed that she's starting to smell musky after playing and now has to wear deodorant. I" not sure if that' s normal or not, but her doc didn't seem to disturbed. We've tried talking to her and all she says is she doesn't know how to be good or that she wants to go to school too ( she at hm with me and we go over lessons). I'v explained that it's not her time to start school yet , but she still has this bad attitude. She even misbehaved at daycare. Our living situation hasn't been the best of the bet (we're currently staying with family). I'm not sure what to do to get her to do right.

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Ladycece

Asked by Ladycece at 12:08 PM on Feb. 14, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • For one, stop taking a shower when no one is around to watch her.
    Secondly, IF, this is real, there is more to this story.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 12:12 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • She's bored. How about putting her in a regular Preschool. A Montessori school would be very good for her. They are adamant about discipline. Does she like crafts? Is there something you can give her at home so she is more occupied? How about Playtime at the local Library? They do crafts, dancing, fun theme parties, puppet shows. Call to see what they offer.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:14 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Where is her biological father?

    I think off the top of my head I would probably suggest a therapist if possible, just to help her with her communication skills.

    Many times kids will be much different at school than they are at home. Teachers will have a different set of expectations from her and if she does not abide by the rules she will face consequences for that. That will have a different effect on her at school than it does at home.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • @3libras Firstly there's not anybody around till the end of the day so yeah I have to take a shower while there is no one around unfortunately. Like I sd we stay with family at the present time. Then secondly wtf do u mean if this is real there's more to it? If you have any questions pls just ask if that's what you need to get a further in depth understanding of the situation. I posted this question for help not for sarcastic _____ like you to make those kinda comments so if you don't have any advice pls don't respond and keep on to the next question. Thank you.
    Ladycece

    Comment by Ladycece (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Have you tried having one on one with her? maybe she jealous. I agree maybe put her in a preschool or something she needs something to do. Also you really need to spend one on one time with her
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Preschool is a good idea if you can swing it. That will give her a good idea of what kind of classroom etiquette is going to be required of her.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:19 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • I agree with ILovemyPaulie - she's bored. She's doing things that either get you to pay attention to her or that get some action going (cops show up, lots of action for a while, brother's hand burned, you freak out and things go crazy). If she wants to go to school so badly, start doing school at home with her. Give her "schoolwork". Find crafts and things you can do with her or put her in some kind of preschool program.

    And as mean as it might sound, as 3libras said - stop showering while you're the only one home with her. She's shown you that if you do that she'll do the most disastrous thing she can. So don't give her that opportunity anymore, unless you're going to accept your part of the responsibility by leaving her alone when you KNOW she'll do something to cause trouble.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Her biological is M.I.A. He hasn't been around since she was like one. I left bc he was on drugs. I'm going to try and enroll her into preschool and she if that helps her feel like her sister. We do crafts at hm, and she likes to bake things, and help me with chores around the house. I've printed off worksheets to go over with her at the house till she get into school that helps a little. I will definitely look for a counselor though. It's like I talk to her to try and find out what's the problem, but she just gives me the same answers or stares at me blankly.
    Ladycece

    Comment by Ladycece (original poster) at 12:22 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Not every new account is a troll ladies. Get off the paranoid bus.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • OP what about preschool, where she goes and is around kids her own age?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

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