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3 Bumps

What to do about my 5yr olds behavior?

I'm a mother of 3 with 1 on the way. Recently my fiance and I have come to be at our wits ends with my 5yr old daughter. My fiance is the biological father of my youngest and my child on the way. He loves my older daughters very much as if they were his own. He treats them no different from his other kids, and even wants to officially adopt them. They call him daddy (by their own choice nothing forced) and always long to be around him. My oldest daughter (who is 6) has started school and now my youngest is starting to complain about starting herself, but wont be able to till next yr. Her behavior has been very intolerable. She's burned her brothers hand with the iron (went to the closet and got it out while he was napping) ( I was in the shower)., has called the cops on me and sd that I was in the hospital she needs someone to come and get her (again I was in the shower), she doesn't listen , she hits on both her siblings at random times, makes smart comments about not wanting to be here or wanting someone else to be her daddy. My fiance and I are starting to have problems with our relationship. We've tried every discipline we could think of, but it's like she's determined to break us or something. Also I've noticed that she's starting to smell musky after playing and now has to wear deodorant. I" not sure if that' s normal or not, but her doc didn't seem to disturbed. We've tried talking to her and all she says is she doesn't know how to be good or that she wants to go to school too ( she at hm with me and we go over lessons). I'v explained that it's not her time to start school yet , but she still has this bad attitude. She even misbehaved at daycare. Our living situation hasn't been the best of the bet (we're currently staying with family). I'm not sure what to do to get her to do right.

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Asked by Ladycece at 12:08 PM on Feb. 14, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • I agree with ILovemyPaulie - she's bored. She's doing things that either get you to pay attention to her or that get some action going (cops show up, lots of action for a while, brother's hand burned, you freak out and things go crazy). If she wants to go to school so badly, start doing school at home with her. Give her "schoolwork". Find crafts and things you can do with her or put her in some kind of preschool program.

    And as mean as it might sound, as 3libras said - stop showering while you're the only one home with her. She's shown you that if you do that she'll do the most disastrous thing she can. So don't give her that opportunity anymore, unless you're going to accept your part of the responsibility by leaving her alone when you KNOW she'll do something to cause trouble.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Shower at night

    Never leave her alone with any child

    Get counseling

    WTF does a musky smell and deoderant ahve to with anything?

    makes comment about wanting a different daddy - why is that? I am sure all kids say they want differnt parents at some point but sounds like this is a common thing for her. You need to make sure you find out why she feels that way.

    Paragraphs would be helpful

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:08 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Where is her biological father?

    I think off the top of my head I would probably suggest a therapist if possible, just to help her with her communication skills.

    Many times kids will be much different at school than they are at home. Teachers will have a different set of expectations from her and if she does not abide by the rules she will face consequences for that. That will have a different effect on her at school than it does at home.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • I have to agree. Do not leave her alone when you take a shower. Taking the iron out and burning your other child is a scary thing. That alone would be cause enough to see a counselor.

    Answer by DJDNY at 12:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • How did you deal with the iron incident? That really would bother me.

    Answer by DJDNY at 1:37 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • For one, stop taking a shower when no one is around to watch her.
    Secondly, IF, this is real, there is more to this story.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:12 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Not every new account is a troll ladies. Get off the paranoid bus.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • really anon, whose paranoid? We are not hiding, you are!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:26 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • Oh yes because a 5 year old can say, well a family memeber said I want a different daddy and knows to tell she is feeling neglected because of the new baby.

    yeah, what did you do about the iron?

    yes, a troll would be omeone who cant really do the story thing and make us believe it

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:45 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

  • She's bored. How about putting her in a regular Preschool. A Montessori school would be very good for her. They are adamant about discipline. Does she like crafts? Is there something you can give her at home so she is more occupied? How about Playtime at the local Library? They do crafts, dancing, fun theme parties, puppet shows. Call to see what they offer.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:14 PM on Feb. 14, 2013

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