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He's laid up and miserable so he is starting to take it out on me.

Unfortunalty, my dh was hit by car while riding his bike. He leg was broken and required surgery. He cannot put weight on it for four more weeks. At first i was so so attentive, being so grateful he wasnt killed (and i still am). But this care is wearing me down. I feel terrible saying it. It wouldnt be so bad but lately he has been nagging at me (hes bored) and on my ass about stupid shit. For example, i told him i was going to pick up gd. When he came out to garage he was surprised to see me at home still and i was playing ping pong.( my sanity and stress relief). He started raising his voice and wwas saying like why go now? its already been 5 hours (really 2 at most). He used to play ping pong and was the champ until his significant sight loss due to glacoma.....anyway, so now when i play he isnt happy that i enjoy it instead he dicates when i can use the table, etc. I just wanna know how to block this out. I understand his permament and temporary disabilities are depressing and require adjustments. iI am supportive, helpful and still he ends up 'getting on me'! Help

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You've gotta sit him down (now that won't be hard, will it?) and have this very chat. Tell him that while you're sympathetic and willing to help him the next several weeks, you won't be treated like a doormat about it. And if you both shared a love of ping pong, he needs to accept that he can't play and he shouldn't squash your desire to play. If he's going to be an ass then you have the right to point out his ass behavior every time.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:54 PM on Feb. 16, 2013

  • Jeanclaudia's right. And if that doesn't work, you leave him on his own for a few hours. When he complains after you return, tell him he's going to get awful lonely over the next month if he can't be fit company for you. Injured or not, he doesn't have the right to be a jerk to you.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:20 PM on Feb. 16, 2013

  • On the other hand, lets put ourselves in his shoes. He's feeling miserable, weak, helpless, and is venting on you. It's bad, and I'm sure he regrets it right after nagging. Just be a little patient, take him to the park, or a car ride, and let him know how much he means to you.

    Answer by MamaaSutra at 10:50 PM on Feb. 16, 2013

  • Does he ever get out f the house (except for Dr. or PT)? Do any friends visit?
    He is cooped up and so are you. I find that it annoys me when DH says I am going to...... and then I find he is enjoying himself on the comupter or a game or whatever. I would rather he be honest and say I am going to play a game for a while (read that I want some alone time) rather than say one thing and do another. That is me.
    I have been house and bed bound, My father had MS, My DH has been house bound, yadda yadda. It is hard.
    Yes I think you should have a chat with him and tell him how you feel and that you need some pampering too sometimes.
    Invite some of his budies over. Maybe one can take him out for a while, ever (gasp) for a beer or two.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I am sorry you have to go through this. Maybe invest in som enew movies get him on a site like this for daddies so he can express his feelings. Get him some magazines and above all grin and bear it because he wont be like that for long. Snuggle with him more and as far as ping pong goes play it and tell how it helps you Let him know your feeling and how stressed you are and how it helps come back to sanity. Communication is key. Good luck.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 10:16 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • Well that was cruel. You lied to him and went out to play his game that he can't play anymore and you wonder why he got pissed?

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:09 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

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